Do you also have such “friends”?

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The ones that behave nice with you, they introduce you to their friends, family members saying: oh Gabi, she is so great person and cool and amazing…all those nice things…and then you realize from her actions (non-actions to get to know you or build a relationship) – how fake she is, because behind your back she talks and works against you. I had couple of times strange situations because of this girl, the last time it was this weekend.

Some month ago, I started to like a person I met on a dating site. It turned out he knows one of my so called “friends” and I shared with her also how I met her acquitance on the dating site. I had a nice talk with this stranger and I told him we have a common friend. The common “friend” is the above girl I know for longer period of time, but I always felt something is wrong in our relationship with her.

He planned a trip right at that moment so we have not met back then.

………………..

I found out he met this “girl friend” of mine and after he never wrote me again. He started to date another girl, a sister of my “friend”. I was not upset as I did not know about them and I forgot about him, till this weekend when I met him finally face to face with his girlfriend.

From another girl i found out, he liked me, but the so called “friend” of mine was very enthusiastic to have her sister reserved for this guy.¬† What a soap opera story, right?

I only smiled at this situation and said to myself, it was not ment for us to meet earlier and actually it is my luck that we did not get into more deeper feelings (this is also what my friend Adrienn said, hugs to you for that Adrienn! And I am adding: it is his loss ūüôā

But, coming back to the “friend girl”, I realized I cannot call her friend, she is toxic for me. She is a kind of person that surrounds herself with many people and loves to be seen as the kind person, helpful and great friend (and in a way I believed too).

What I understood from her earlier actions too: she behaves protective with the guys from her country (the jelaous mama type), but actualy she has no deep connection with people around herself and hey! she is choosing girlfriends to her sister, to guys??

Now what kind of guy is that who does not go after his own experience, but listens to others what is good for him? That guy is definitely not for me, and about her:

She was a friend on a surface and I was naive for keeping her till now in my life. From today one toxic person is out and I am giving a space to a person with honest and real friend relationships.

Yes, it is hard to let go when you think they were friend to you.. but look at their actions and decide. I should have had let go this friendship long time ago.

 

And here’a a beautiful song for you from Brazil, of course!

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Nem mŇĪk√∂dik a c√©ges laptopom, telefonr√≥l √≠rok, mert ezt…

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Ki kell √≠rjam magamb√≥l, mert sohasem tudom ezt veled megbesz√©lni, val√≥j√°ban m√°r r√©g feladtam, hogy b√°rmit is megtudok veled √©rtetni, de ahogy l√°tod, √ļjb√≥l √©s √ļjb√≥l prob√°lkozom…

Mi√©rt van az, hogy m√©g mindig f√©lek tŇĎled, s megakarok felelni neked;
…hogy f√©lnem kell d√∂nt√©seimre, cselekedeteimre hogyan fogsz reag√°lni..

Miért van, az hogy soha semmiben sem látod meg a jót?
Miért van az, hogy egy kedves ember álarcát viseled majd valóságos szörnyetegé tudsz változni?
Vid√°m, kedves ember mondj√°k re√°d.
Igen, de nem amikor r√≥lam van sz√≥, olyan dacos d√ľh√∂s emberr√© v√°ltozol, mintha √©n lenn√©k √©leted legnagyobb kudarca.

GyŇĪl√∂l√∂m, hogy sohase mondhatom el igazi gondolataim, v√©lem√©nyeim, mert n√°llad m√°s v√©lem√©nye kuka, csak az sz√°m√≠t amit te mondasz √©s gondolsz!

Nem tisztelsz, sosem tetted.
Nincs olyan cselekedetem, amely téged boldoggá tudna tenni.

Nem √©rt√©keled az embereket k√∂r√ľl√∂tted, csak magaddal vagy elfoglalva, csak neked van igazad.

Sajnálom, hogy ilyen elkeseredett ember vagy, tudom, hogy nehéz gyerekkorod volt, de ez nem az én hibám.

√Čn is hordozom a keresztem √©s sokszor nem sz√≥lok, mert r√©g megtanultam, hogy nem sz√°m√≠thatok r√°d, mert sosem fogsz meg√©rteni, elfogadni, esetleg elgondolkodni az √©n, de ak√°r a t√∂bbi ember helyzet√©n √©s kapcsolataidon vel√ľk, mert ez t√©ged sosem √©rdekelt.

T√∂rhetetlen az eg√≥d, pedig nem vagy b√∂lcs √©s fogalmad sincs arr√≥l, hogy megb√°ntod az embereket magad k√∂r√ľl.

Engem is meggy√∂t√∂rt az √©let, hidd el, jobban mint gondoln√°d, nem v√©letlen ker√ľltem a pszihi√°tri√°ra, t√ļl sok volt az az ember k√∂r√ľl√∂ttem aki felsz√≠nes volt velem √©s val√≥j√°ban nem is √©rdekelte ŇĎket val√≥di √©nem, olyan dolgokkal foglalkoztam melyek nem √©rdekeltek, de a megfelel√©si v√°gy k√©sztetett. Egy √ļj de m√©gsem √ļj √©nem akartam felv√°llalni, de sajnos sok az irigy √©s megvetŇĎ ember.

Minden negat√≠v tapasztalatom, √©lethelyzetem ellen√©re, igyekszem elfogadni embereket a hib√°ikkal egy√ľtt, mert senki sem t√∂k√©letes √©n sem, s nem is baj..

Remélem kevesen vagytok, akik ugyanígy éreztek!

……………………….

De TE, m√©g mindig hasba tudsz d√∂fni…mindig azt mondom magamban, sajnos tal√°n nem is tehetsz r√≥la, hogy ilyen vagy…

I keep track on my invested work…

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I keep track on my invested work…

…this way I can see what steps I made and at the end of the day I won’t have the feeling that I have not accomplished anything.

So I did a quick search on some agencies today and messaged with introduction mail the following agencies:

http://www.stellamodels.com/ Austria

http://www.lookformodels.at/ Austria

http://www.characters-models.com/ Spain

http://www.bialymodels.com/ Poland? Thailand?

Contacted: http://friendlyfire.at/ with a nice introduction mail – Friendly Fire is a 3D Concept and Production House in Vienna – I asked them for an advice which casting agencies to contact. Maybe it is better if someone else tells me, so I save on the time to investigate. But, let’s see if they will reply.

Anyone has an experience with an Austrian character/senior modeling agency that works with internationals?

I will continue applying at Austrian agencies, as Vienna is close for jobs.

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Now we are off with Filip for the Music Expo.

And here is a song for today too, which is very different from the songs I usually post, and yes, it is also from Brazil. Brazil is not only about Bossa Nova, Samba…

I find this band a bit strange, maybe that is why I like them. ūüôā

I am progressing in my Portuguese, e.g. I know whats the meaning of the bands name and songs title:

Banda do Mar – the band from the sea

Mais Ninguém Рnobody else

 

 

I lack time….

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I am in constant lack with time, but really, I have the feeling if day was about 48 hours I would still need more to do everything I want.

Before I continue, at the bottom is a Brazilian song, click and listen to it while reading ūüôā only to stay consistent to myself, in each blog post I will have one new MPB song. This one is specifically glad to me, as I find Vanessa da Mata as one of the icons of the Brazilian music scene. Watch the way she sings, her movements are full of elegance! If you scroll lower, do not forget to come back here and read further! ūüôā

Related to my music and modeling things, as said in my yesterday’s post, I have a goal and that is to register to 5 agencies per day. When today I started writing this blog post, I thought first to register to databases of agencies that liked or commented my photos on Instagram, but most of them are quite far from me, so I decided to take on my list registration to Austrian agencies. I googled Austrian casting and modeling agencies and in the upcoming days I’ll do registration by them.

Today I did the following things for the modeling things:

  • Checked jobs on https://globalmodelsinc.com – one job was interesting, but it is only for premium users and if I’ll do an upgrade in some of my profiles it will be on Model Management (a post from yesterday: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/once-i-gave-it-up-or-just-took-a-break/) the rest of the jobs were not interesting.
  • I went for a casting by Hollywood casting, it was a textual one, and it is for a “Sz√©ch√©nyi terv” project fund. I would not say I nailed it, I was not focused enough! There is so much going on in my head, I need to learn to control this!
  • On a way there I made this selfie…
  • Responded to Instagram comments. If you have one, you need to engage with people from the industry, you never know what connection a message will bring
  • registered to an Austrian agency: https://www.prestige-modelmanagement.com
  • sent mail to another Austrian agency: http://www.stellamodels.com
  • I have updated my profile on e-talenta (an online portfolio) and sent 2 intro letters to 2 Hungarian casting directors and to 9 Serbians (I am fluent in Serbian) via the site as it allows you to send personal messages. It is a new discovery for me and I find it great!
  • Messaged 2 photographers for a TF photoshooting, one is probably arranged for mid of November! ūüôā
  • Registered to http://www.latitudetalent.com from New York as I got a follow on my Instagram from them – I do not think they will invite me for any job, as this profession requires you to be on the market, but I just felt like doing it. Of course, if you are beginning in the industry in Hungary, probably you will start with your registration in Hungarian agencies. I am registered at most, but I get the most job calls from Hollywood casting agency. You can find a list of casting agencies in my earlier post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2015/12/15/casting-agencies-hungary/ I made this post long time ago, but the list at the bottom of the blog post contains the majority of the agencies.
  • I have registered to a webpage http://www.62models.com – the agency is from New Zealand, quite far and again maybe pointless, but at least they have my contacts, maybe some of you will go there and at least you have the information about their existance!
  • I bumped into a website of Later Media – http://www.later.com, they seem to have good tips for using Instagram and I downloaded a free guide to read called “Instagram for Business strategy guide”. Lets see how I can use it for myself.
  • Had a quick glance on the site: https://join.ftcpublications.com/congratulations/how-to-apply/ To this page you need an invitation to apply, I need to investigate on them a bit more.

For my music I did the following:

  • Listened to this song below “Acreditar” for at least 100 times, I can sing already the refrain with a big confidence, so it is on my priority list of performing it too!

…tomorrow I am going for the Music Expo! I hope to see many cool things there!

PLUS, I wrote this post…

once I gave it up or just took a break?

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this modeling, acting, music thing…before you continue, scroll down, put on the music, I promise you a nice melodic song¬†this time¬†ūüôā

in each of my blog post I will give you some insight into Brazilian MPB, trust me it is worth of clicking on the music¬†and sooner or later I will start posting my own cover recordings ūüôā I am working on that too!

So, if the music is on, you can continue reading here:

the more I try to convince myself I should do only¬†a “normal” regular job, my gut and heart shouts,¬†YOU are again neglecting what you really like doing.

Have you had this feeling? Do you have some secret profession, you do not believe you could do, because this naughty voice is talking in your head?

I do this neglecting so successfully that I almost convinced myself modeling is not for me at all and I successfully pushed it to the back of my mind for the last 1, 5 year Р doing some shootings only for fun.

One of the reasons for that was, as I had difficulties getting modeling jobs,¬† I did not know much about the industry, about Hungarian¬†agencies, later I was¬†also upset how much the entertainment industry¬†in Hungary¬†uses people,¬†then I realized this is the “curse” of this industry and you need to filter who you work with, step out for yourself¬†and¬†sooner or later, hopefully, those “bad” ones will disappear and good one¬†appear.

One of my favourite photos is this one – the photo has its story, but some other time about that:

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To defend myself in front of myself too, I had to accept anyone starting from zero in any branch would have difficulties, plus here comes the fact: at MY age in this industry, Hungary is not the best place for beginning, but not impossible. Like every other job you need to invest into yourself and into learning new skills (learning how to pose is also a skill that not comes naturally to everyone). You really need to be persistent, and this industry really requires you to be a fighter, listener, observer and good networker, I think more than in any other industries.

All these things with modeling and singing for me started unfolding about 4 years ago. I still try to understand how could I suppress it for so long. In my childhood I dreamed of being famous, I wanted to become an actress, leaving a print foot behind when I die (I am weird even to myself for these thoughts).

At age of 18 I was stopped by an agent on Ferenciek tere¬†in Budapest to register with her in an agency for modeling.¬†Can you imagine remembering something like this for 20 years and doing nothing about it? I even commented in myself, me??? Look at me how I look! Still, if this I can recall so well, the way I am holding the business card in my hand on Ferenciek, there must have been something about it, I just did not believe into myself. I know¬†how low my self-esteem was. It is low even now ūüôā apparently it does not seem so when you meet me in person and the way I expose myself now. :)))¬†As teenager¬†I¬†thought¬†of myself¬†as a no chance model category¬†and in this belief I did not even think it further.

I guess, it was ment to happen like that, to forget about the agent above I am telling to myself maybe the person I met was a scam or I needed other things to learn in my life to come here where I am now. If I look back, I can say I have my brick settled into the walls of Budapest with my history here too, DEFINITELY.

Anyway, ever since I started to do music, modeling, acting I tried to fit into my life to go for castings each time I get a call and I am interested into the job. I have a casting end of this week too for a local commercial, though now an sick-leave, hopefully I will be able to make it.

Even nowadays I am questioning if I am good enough for singing, modeling, so if you are in the same shoes, I understand you. I am obviously not in this age range of 14-22, I also think there are markets where my look is more easy to sell (e.g. I got a casting call by an agency to Malaysia, Japan if I am around, even! Ford China responded to visit them if I am around, I tagged them in some of my post and they responded). The true is, I am tied in a way to Budapest because of Filip and his father, we would never be able to give up on him, but I also know I need to go and do my things, it is an example I need to give to him, I just need to find the proper way so he is still included in my life. It is something that is always on my mind as if you are following me and know me you know what hard times this gives me.

So what else to do then? Sit and read how to do it from here for now, make it step by step even it is maybe the harder way and whatever comes we will cope with it.

Today I did the following, as first steps:

I am registered on a modeling platform: https://www.modelmanagement.com/model/gabriella-karvk/ so I am able to apply for modeling jobs in Hungary, but mostly abroad, the page is for some reason less used in Hungary.  With a free registration on this site you have only 2 casting application possibilities per month. I did got selected already for jobs even with these 2 casting application possibilities. I applied for a job on Model Management in Valencia and one in Köln.

I used to be a premium member and¬†I am considering to pay off¬†again for¬†a yearly based membership which allows me to apply unlimited, I can connect my Instagram etc. – read about it on the page if you are more interested –¬†but I did some investment this month into my music equipment finally (buying a microphone) so I might delay the membership paying or not, I will see, as in a way it can bring me jobs, I might do savings on something else.

I started to follow what agencies, people are following my Instagram¬†profile¬†(check right side¬†of my blog)¬†and registering to modeling sites when I see a “like” from them. I do not care if it is an agency that hires youngsters or not, I take my time to make my input on the pages and submit.

Todays target:

I am registering online to minimum 5 agencies, these two I already registered to:

http://www.eastwestmodels.de/

http://agenciaaire.es/ – they contacted me via Model Management to register to their database for a possible casting, if you speak Spanish fill in, otherwise contact them via email. I hope I will get some feedback.

Of course, this way is much harder, specially as I am not in the market where I am applying, but since I had traveling modeling jobs, I think there are chances for more…

Now I am off to do those spaghetti for lunch (Filip asked them for¬†dinner)¬†and later continue applying…

If you are interested in more agency sites I will apply to, engage with me here and let me know! We can do it together!

I am also accepting advises from you!

If there is a modeling agency you know it is hiring traveling models, let me know, obrigada!

I found a great tutorial for basic Samba P√© steps!

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On Saturday I was with friends in House bar as it was a Brazilian party and a Buda Bloco concert hosted there, I have not been to one for long time!

There is no Brazilian party without Samba, right? And I am always happy to pull out¬† –¬†as I usually SAY¬†– my basic Samba dance knowledge.

I am not taking classes¬†near for¬†a year now and since¬†yesterday I started to¬†consider to¬†get back to it again.¬†The music makes me to move and I always conclude it’s one of the greatest dances, though¬†I do not know how I will fit it in with yoga.

When I dance Samba, due to its intensity I feel it as I am doing sports. I know I am clumsy for complicated choreographies,  but I am not giving up. You should see me, what struggles I have when I need to learn a new step or choreography! :)))

However, last night¬†a song started and in¬†a¬†moment¬†I realized the people I was¬†with stopped, being in awe, stared down¬†at my¬†feet¬†and¬†asked me: how am I doing that?? I¬†do not¬†think I am¬†THAT good at all (BUT THANK YOU, it was nice feeling! ūüôā

I am not taking classes¬†near for¬†a year now and since¬†yesterday I started to¬†consider to¬†get back to it again.¬†The music makes me to move and it’s one of the greatest dances, my interest in the Brazilian music started with Samba, maybe I mentioned this in some of my old posts.

However, I got good basic¬†class education from different instructors¬†in the past and I¬†feel those basic steps now¬†flowing naturally. Samba in winter time becomes my street¬†warming up activity, you can¬†find me dancing and singing while waiting for the public transport, some people might think I am crazy or¬†others compliment me. Today it was the song from Roberta S√° “Samba de um minuto”. My new fav’ song I am learning the LETR√ĀS (lyrics) of it. It is really hard to sing that song, but the bigger the challenge the more I am targeted!

I arrived home, opened YouTube and looked for Samba tutorial¬†videos as¬†there¬†are some more complicated steps¬†I can practise at home on my own too¬†and that is how I¬†bumped into a YouTube tutorial for basic steps. So those who asked me¬†on Saturday¬†how to do it I hope you will check this post and watch the video, this couple is¬†great in¬†showing you the basics, it is in Portuguese,¬†but that’s a double win, learning some¬†language too! ūüôā

I recall dancing Samba during movie shootings in the past winters also, while waiting for my turn to come. I was sometimes asked what is that dance and how, where I learned it or got some head nodding and acknowledgements followed by smiles from the crew.

Some Brazilian friends keep repeating me I am more Brazilian than they are.

Sometimes I¬†think, they are just teasing me or¬†flattering me?!¬†The other time¬†I¬†take it as a compliment! ūüėÄ

As conclusion,¬†I kept the advice I got when starting my first classes¬†with¬†Kinga at the former Brazilian Sport Center. She¬†told us to¬†dance Samba even when doing dishes, as those basic steps are really important to master and¬†later to¬†synchronize¬†with the hand movements. I really recall it was hard to start. I thought I will never be able to do it! ūüôā

Try it by yourself!

In the meantime I found classes by a new instuctor and hopefully switching back to it next Tuesday! Let me know if you want to join!

I get lost in all these opinions I read

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I started to read blog posts about the topic what I should write about to have a successful blog and to talk to people, and I keep running into opinions that your blog needs to be focused on one-two topics.

well, there is one thing that is almost always mentioned in my blogs, the word: Brazil in some form ūüôā

I do not know how this flag got integrated here… ūüėČ

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Anyway, my inner voice is very offended on this “be focused on one thing”, as generally, even in other fields of my life I think I have issues with it ūüôā

What if I am interested in many things to write about?

Can you make it to get succesful?

Any tips, advice?

Do you know any successful blogger who was doing similar, more alike personal blogging?

Hey, before you listen to this song below, read the text under my post on Instagram “with the green greeting card and smiley” to learn the meaning on the word Bunda in Hungarian and Portuguese ūüôā

and now…

Ivete Sangalo is I think one of the most famous Brazilian singers and Alejandro is a well-known Spanish musician.

I discovered the song by a chance, why don’t you listen to it too? Just listen that language, it is so beautiful! Okay, I know I am subjective…btw. my Portugese vocabulary is reaching 900 words on Duolingo!

Credit: http://flaglane.com/download/brazilian-flag

Anker’t and IMP – have you ever been to it?

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Two weeks ago there was¬†the 5th anniversary of IMP (International Meeting Point) in Budapest. It is an event that takes place every other week on Wednesday in Anker’t. I am not a regular visitor, but in the last month I managed to go the both occasions, 2 weeks ago and yesterday. Yesterday I went there as I was hosting a Couchsurfer and we met there for the evening, plus I promised to Martina to catch up.

Remark for those coming first time to the event: upon arrival, register at the table that you are attending the event and get your IMP bracelet, as later you might have a chance to win some prizes.

If you are a traveller, a local, an expat, a couchsurfer, a student, whatever you feel like being and you feel like having a chat, a drink or two, to¬†network¬†with local and international people – or with ME ūüôā – this is only a joke – do not hesitate to skip in and make some new connections. The events are announced on Facebook bi-weekly named as “international meeting point – let’s meet, drink & dance!” but you can find it also on the Couchsurfing community site. Not every week is the same, and not every event is fun, but it is an option for a weekday going out for couple of hours.

If you move your mouse cursor over the photos below our names get displayed (in case not, here we are: Rony, Gabriel, me, Martina, Nicola, Ambrogio, and the “pop-out of nowhere” Brazilian girl, unfortunately I do not recall her name. She came to us randomly, but in a moment when we were exchanging some thoughts related to Brazil. She showed up, for some reason I turned to her and asked in Portuguese, are you from Brazil? On my biggest shock she replied and she continued to talk to me in Portuguese. At first I thought I heard it wrong or she was joking, but no. She was really from Brazil. We laughed hard as it was really an unexpected situation. I am still amazed how she ended up by us right in that minute.

Gabriele (with the glasses in the middle) and Nicola (last guy on right) won on the IMP game vouchers for drinks, so they used the opportunity to have some tequila shots, Martina was inaugurated to be part of the tequila drinking.

Rony said, he will test this in Brazil. Good luck! ūüôā

Anyway, I go for these meetings when I have time and will.

It is not only about partying, but also about getting connected with people, feeling good vibes and laughing a lot!

one of my favourite music venues in Budapest

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I am every second week without Filip so I take the opportunity to visit places I am not in the weeks of parenting.

Couple of weeks ago we have agreed with Radmila to go¬†to Brody Studio on one of the¬†Mondays¬†– you might remember¬†Radmila, my alterego¬†ūüôā from my post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/09/15/women-of-budapest-choir-there-you-goooooooo/

Anyway, I chose Monday as it is the day when the venue hosts musicians for jamming and a kind of open mic on the first floor at the bar area.

I became member of the club some year ago when I  went for a performance at the place. The attached photos may not reflect so well on the place, but if you have the chance to stay at their hotel (Brody house) or visit the venue, do not miss it! The place is very cozy and with a nice ambient. They offer a great variety of programs: stand-ups, workshops, events etc.

However, as mentioned, you need a membership. Get in contact with them on: https://www.brody.land/contact/

So here we are Radmila, Martina and myself having our girls night-out in Brody!

Now, I am off to learn some lyrics so I can get up there on the stage with some next occasion and sing some song!

my first really short haircut

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Actually I only¬†wanted to share a photo of me from about 15 years ago, it was made somewhere between 2001-2003 as I can recall I was working by Colgate-Palmolive at that time¬†as¬†Receptionist. That was my first “serious”¬†job in Budapest by a big FMCG¬†company.¬†The experience I have gained there and the name of the company¬†helped me a lot later in my job searches ¬†(PLUS my Serbian language knowledge).

I have to admit it was one of the best companies I worked for. I have nice memories about that period.

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I remember one winter spending with all my colleagues on skiing in Austria as a company bonus for the achieved sales results. On that skiing it was the first time I was skiing ever in my life. I remember sliding down the hill and shouting in German: Aufpassen, aufpassen! (Meaning: Watch out, watch out! I was in such fear, it was all I could remember from my German language knowledge). Luckily nobody was killed!

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With some people from Colgate I am still in connection.

However, my point was to post the photo of me when one day in that Colgate period¬†I went to a hairdresser and asked my hairdresser to cut my so called “long hair” with a haircut machine.

Now as I look at the photo I do not see it so terrifying, but nobody saw me before with a¬†such short hair, so¬†it was shocking. I remember the Colgate General Managers look. He did not seemed to be impressed, but he was a cool Sicilian man, so he just said, something like:¬†oh, new haircut! ūüôā

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And I feel like linking this song here, it is one of my favourite songs from Morcheeba: