Monthly Archives: January 2015

the yellow Corsa

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Waking up in the morning is always fun ūüôā

Good morning everyone!

phone and reading the news…coffee, cigarette ¬†and you bump into a funny article that starts your day in a funny way and you know your day will be fun too! And hopefully today it’s gonna be a looong day too!

I bumped in a articel on HVG site – hvg.hu, unfortunately the articles are in English, but I will give you an insight on about the famous “Yellow Corsa”.

It got me even more as it’s very much related to my past job and it was the first Sales launch I participated in the multinational training company I worked for called “Raytheon Professional Services LLC¬†“http://www.raytheon.com/ that is/was one of the distributors of training services for General Motors:

http://www.raytheon.com/ourcompany/rps/index.html

When u click on the webpage of this company you will be a bit surprised, as I was for the first time when I was  preparing to go for a job interview at this company. But, after the job interview and after couple of months I realized I am part of a huge company and the part we are doing in Europe is just a tiny part of the whole companies Business strategy, but for sure one of the companies with the biggest opportunities.

When I looked on the company site I read about¬†defense, security, pilot simulation trainings, missiles and I was like: oh my God what the hell is this?!…not mentioning I am coming from a “war area” and I was/I am very much against weapons, war etc. And I was just moving back in January, 2006 from Belgrade after almost 2 years of working there and it’s a little bit ironic¬†I find a company related to such¬†topic.

But I was curious and I desperately wanted to come back to Budapest, I was ready to take any job only to be back here again. So, I came to the job interview as a big question mark and I left from the job interview as a big questionmark. Of course when they asked me why I want to work for this company I said the expected answers to be hired from a perspective of an HR person. I also said I had a target to come back to Budapest, get a job and stay here, I had a goal and when I have a goal I am very-very goal-oriented I do it untill I get what I want.

I was interested ¬†in doing something new as I spent the previous years in Sales, Logistics, Customer Service, Planning, Warehouse, Administration, some HR, Finance etc. I wanted to try something else, something more related to people, for long ¬†period I thought it’s the HR and this sounded close to it so I applied. I had advantages when I was applying for this job as the company has a Central role in Eastern European block, I am not sure anymore how many countries were were operating from Budapest anymore (I should look in my CV or ask some of the collegues ūüôā but we had a big network of people working with as a team. And, I speak most of the languages the company needed for the position of “Training Administration and Logistics” and most of them I can also understand.¬†On the interview, I understood it is about trainings, but ¬†still I did not get the whole picture…After the interview I knew I will get the job. I was confident in my knowledge and capabilities. I did not know anything about trainings but for the 7 years I spent there I became expert in it I ended up leading this regional company¬†as a Team Leader of ¬†9 internal people (Project Managers, Trainers, Deployment Coordinator, 2 Training¬†Logistician), with cross-functional relationship of¬†Call Center Supervisors and their Agents in Barcelona and
subcontracted trainers in the covered markets (Hungary, Serbia, Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Montenegro, Macedonia, Albania, Bulgaria, Romania, Lithuania, Latvia, Esthonia and all the other former Russian countries: Armenia,  Azerbaijan, Belarus, Georgia, Kazahstan, Kyrgyzisthan, Moldova, Tajikistan, Turkmenitsan and Uzbegistan. In the former Russian countries we had mostly joint trainings, however they were part of the whole picture).

So, I was hired as a Deployment Coordinator in the end – shortly, arranging training materials for the trainings in the market languages, which ment translating, proofreading, coordinating translations with translating agencies, with our head office in Europe in Germany R√ľsselsheim, but also delegating the check of translated materials to the subcontracted trainers for quality check, collecting the final materials and preparing it for training delivery. You do not have a clue what a big responsilibity this job required too. Before I came to the company this task was accomplished by the Project Managers and they realized the market is growing and they need to hire a person to handle training materials. ¬†After couple of days I started to hate this job, because I got a bunch of tasks that were messed up, there was a big backlog and I had to do translations and proofreading of materials, which I started to hate a lot. Not because I hate to do this job, but I got overloaded and still I had no previous knowledge and I did not get trained properly…Irony again…But after a while I started to look on a bright side, I was asked to go to Serbia with one of my collegues who was delivering training to simultaneouly translate her training delivery. ¬†We got a car with Zita and we went there. I felt so good being at home among the people those language I can speak, but OMG I was so stressed about the delivery. I had to translate a training material simultaneously which I had no clue about it, I did not know the officially used terms, I was not getting the platform that was explained, NADA (nothing). However, the training ended up fine and I hade another first experience in my life and I overcame a fear of “I cannot do it”, because I did it, not perfectly, but I had to put on a side my perfectionist views. ¬†I was happy my job is not a job “staying in one office, place”, but it is providing me with lots of other possibilities. ¬†I have overcame lots of my fears while working in this company as I was facing lots of new situations in my life.

My first trip via company car to a Sales launch in Lajosmizse, if I rememeber well it was the “Aveo” Sales lunch, but I am not sure. I got a company ¬†car and Gabi, drive by your own for the first time in your life on a highway using navigation :)))) I got my driving licence just a year before, so I really had no practise, but it was more a fear not to crash the car. I arrived to the training location and I have forgotten to turn off the lights on the car…well couple of hours ¬†later I was so ashamed about it. But, I can explain why this happened. Our private car was Fiat Bravo, by this car by turning off the car, the lights turn off automatically. However, imagine working in automotive industry with automotive professionals and not knowing you have to turn off the lights on Opel/Vauxhalls. I always leave big impression on ¬†people, they remembered me about this too :)))

My first test drive…JESUS, from all of the available cars I get the automatic transmission Cadilac to drive. So again, playing the fool, but there was no choice I had to ask, people I do not know even how to start the car. So I had about 5 seconds of “how to handle” the car and the next minute I had to sit in the car and drive with as the group wanted to start testing the cars. Now this means max 20 people waiting that I get familiar with the car. So I set in and I drove. I fell in love with Cadilac, with its beige seats and actually now I realized why many years later I chose to have the same seats in my car.

My first company car, Saab 95, I loved that car, I inherited it from my boss.

My first promotion, and the second and the third…..

My first salary raise, when for the first time I decided to talk to my boss because I knew I was doing great in my job and I deserved more.

The first person I proposed to be hired to our company, Szabi as Call Center agent in Barcelona, he is still there, a hardworking, punctual, very good workforce not really appreciated still in the company.

The second person that – I also have to mention – was hired to the company I proposed, Marina ūüôā I knew Marina from my past as acquitance, but not much more about her, she is from Croatia and also a polyglot and very well organised person. She is still in the company, now preparing for the partental role¬†ūüôā She took over my responsibilites as Deployment Coordinator. She is a unique, hardworking person.

My first promotion, becoming a “Project Manager” for Chevrolet.

My first “trait” to my boss after my first promotion: “I said you are the next” – meaning your “seat” is the next I will take-over. I did it.

My first organised event “Chevrolet Cruze” the worst event ever…there was no budget to deliver a proper one as it was right in the period of the world crisis in 2008.

My first trip abroad to observe training for quality measures.

My first training in Barcelona, Six Sigma (I still hate Six Sigma), but I loved Barcelona!

My first interviewing, I hired person, Adam from Hungary – I love this guys humour and open-minded, creative approach! He is still in the company.

My first customer meeting, Istv√°n, you were not an easy guy, but I loved you for being like that!

The first car bought tailored to my needs (Adam, my collegue, helped me with that a lot!) Yeah, I delegated even this task, but because I trusted in his knowledge and he knew exactly what is good for me!

My first “Oscar award” for the good results!

My first tutor, Rory from the UK, we learned so much fromeach other!

My first part-time jobs,

My first home-office job,

And one of the persons I am still in frequent contact, though sometimes we had discussions in my job, but he was the first person he said I was a good boss and acknowledged that my “another firts in my life”- the restructuring the company helped him to find his role in the ¬†company. Andr√°s, my friend from Ukraine.

And i could keep on writing you more…7 years cannot be described in ¬†one blog…

I will probably get back to this topic from time to time, but now I am ready to share the article about the yellow Corsa, I found among the posts an English version too and I will attach the Hungarian (maybe Google’s “translate the Page to English” can help you ūüėČ

English:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2929747/Most-photographed-houses-Britain-photobombed-yellow-car.html

Hungarian:

http://hvg.hu/cegauto/20150130_Vilaghiru_lett_egy_rossz_helyen_parkolo_s

If you have time find it on HVG Facebook page too,as people started to upload photos with the yellow Corsa on different locations and there are fun comments (and some less..u know Hungarians, they always end up fighting about politics)

Enjoy your day!

I have arranged another casting for myself today and a phootoshooting in the afternoon (even the Sun came out ūüôā

And hopefully see u in the city in the night! Please invite me for a cigarette or drink and I will give you my company! ūüėÄ

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scheduling tasks and sticking to it…and then i ended up again writing about something else…about my friends…

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I almost “always” plan my tasks in advance, ¬†but leaving flexibility in it…it’s easy to switch the days, mostly I am not delaying to accomplish the task that was ment for that day, but sometimes that is possible too,

yes, I am not as strict as I seem sometimes, i also recognise sometimes I just do not have the ¬†energy to do the ones scheduled, but I will ¬†rather take and accomplish another thing…and then change in my calender the input, so I have an insight and prove to myself that I added something to the world today ūüôā

E.g.¬†I planned to register to 10 ¬†new modeling agencies¬†in Italy yesterday, but I realized I am just delaying to do it, I started to write an e-mail ¬†to a new accountant company (I need a reliable one and my friend Dani proposed me one, I will check on them) as in December I visited one that my other friend Dora proposed, but the lady there was, ¬†I do not know, I just did not felt her right…and it’s quite far from the city, it took me about an hour to get there and I am a conformist and I do not always like¬†to waste my time by travelling (yeah,but let’s differentiate, it is different when I am “traveling” to visit a place, someone, country or else),but actually the reason I did not go to this other accountant was that I did not like her.

After a month I realized I need to find another one, because being a freelancer it means having your own company or VAT number so you can provide invoices for your bill. I travelled to London, I have invoices to book and to be honest I have no clue what all else I have to do…plus, I do not want to do the jobs for those I know there are people who are expert in it, so here comes my “managerial” skill, I delegate the task. Yep, it is not free of charge, but it is less stress for me. Of course, I always go for a consultation before, because I need to understand how things work, but I leave it on the experts to do the job. I do this almost on all my fields of my life.

I have a babysitter, sometimes friends to support me with Filip, ¬†maybe once a good childcare. I “delegate” parental tasks, because being a single parent is not an easy job. You are taking care of yourself and about your child, you have to share the responsibilities sometimes among your surrounding so you can survive. I am lucky to have two Dora’s in my life.

One is Dori Filip’s¬†babysitter and the other one is Dora, the belly-dancer as Filip would call her. This ¬†is ¬†how ¬†we differentiate. Dora babysitter is very flexible and responsible even she is 17, when is about Filip, volleyball, friends, school :D. She goes to a school. We agreed on a weekly schedule with her to babysit Filip, because this way she can count on her job/salary and I¬†can accomplish my job related things. some private things or only to go out for a coffee or whatever. Having some kind of schedule gives us the possibility to plan things in our lives. When you have a kid those planned hours are very effective too, but for yourself. She will stay for now anonymous in a certain way, because she will get another topic in my blog ūüėČ

Dori, got stucked on Thursday¬†in Budapest due to snowing, she called me if she can come up as she lives outside of Budapest and the bus transporting agency Vol√°n had difficulties to reach “Telki” (u know this village is one of the most richest ones in Hungary for couple of years now?I). I had worked there with a translating agency, while I was by Raytheon and I visited this village couple of years ago, and soon we will visit with Filip Dori there.

So she called me, i said, come on, it’s not even a question bring yourself here, but I asked her to bring me a coffee as I have no coffee at home and ¬†I was lazy to go out on this snowing, cold weather Thursday¬†and I was also busy doing some linking among my online profiles. She showed up with a bottle of ros√© wine and the coffee and with a headache.

After a certain period of time she came up with the idea to make selfies…I said to her these are gonna be ¬†the worst photos ever, but who the f… cares…so we were making selfies, silly faces, smiling, talking, laughing, drinking, smoking and her headache stopped. And then she created this. We look like mopped in the face, but “models” look like this too ;))))

Sometimes I think Dori is the Gabi that I could be with age of 17. Now I am sometimes reliving those ages with her.

10958436_825797004128057_2750555931620371387_n

Dora, the belly dance she adores Filip and this is enough for me that I can trust her :)).

She is very busy person and has her English classes usually in the afternoons, however she offered¬†if I need a help with Filip in the early hours I can turn to her.¬†ūüôā I did not yet really used her yet and in general I am hard on asking help even from my friends (I practise it sometimes now), because I know everyone has it’s own problems, but with Dora I do not feel that I will owe her something if I ask her for a help, like with most of the people I feel,but this is something I have to work on too. I trust her and I learned from her a lot in these couple of weeks/months since she came to my life.

She is the person who surprises me or Filip from time to time. This can be discovering something about herself or just a simple present to Filip that will make him happy. Dora is also a fan of Japanese culture, beauty and paintings as she does it on her own too. She likes to make her make-up to look as a Geisha (sometimes I really have the feeling she is), oh and btw. she is also Ambassador of the Japanese Tsunagu group on Facebook. She often expresses herself through paintings, pictures. She is the person who took me for a hand one day and organised programmes for the whole afternoon, for the first time in my life I experienced with a friend. It was so good, not to think about what I will do that afternoon and evening I just let her to guide me and show me the city from her perspective. Dora, thank you for that experience. We have been to a Japanese teashop, where,

well it’s expected to drink a Japanese tea, but I am a coffee drinker in the first row, and Dora just nodded with okay, u take the coffee ūüėÄ …have u ever tried a coffee with green colour? It was awsome experience ūüôā

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Drinking Barley tea and Macha latte with Dora at https://www.facebook.com/marumoto.japantea

Last time she brought watercolors to¬†Filip, he was amused with them the whole week, then a stickers, which became “Spagetti’s” for Filip. Sorry Dora, my kid ¬†was just creative. Who said the stickers are only for sticking them in the albums? You can take the scissors from mom and make Spagetti’s out of them.

Dora is very wise and very up-to date in natural beauty stuffs and giving advices, shops, she is a great networker, she is great in knowing the locals in Budapest, musicians, owners and she is a person with a big heart.

I am always afraid for such people, because they got often used by others. Dora, do not misunderstand me, I am talking about my own experiences.

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Dora is not only a friend, sometimes I had the feeling she is like the mom I wished to have, bringing me down to earth, but leaving me a space to decide and do things in my way and accepting whatever I do with understanding.

Yeah, I¬†kinda talk from experience…I like to give and I give with an open heart, but I realized sometimes I am wasting my energy for people who do not deserve it. I am not talking about her. I realized I need also to do a selection and share with the right ones, otherwise it’s a waste of energy.

She is a¬†person I said an advice listens to me, has her opinion, her perspective of things, but¬†we work out/conclude what we feel right for ourselves and she takes into consideration sometimes my advices, and this works vice-versa. I appreaciate her a¬†lot, because I feel to be listened, not because I think I am smarter, nope, it’s about letting the other person to freely express needs, problems, whatever and for such people I also wanna give a helping hand in need.

She is a very free person, but gives too much attention to other people opinion. She¬†is an opinion¬†people think she is crazy, well, I also hear from myself such stories, but I’d rather be crazy, ¬†unique and myself then to please others to be seen as they want to see me and not in a way I am. I am accepting her as she is.

She is a woman I learned from it’s allowed to a man to pay you a drink, without feeling bad about it…I am so bad with this, I’d rather pay for myself or share the bill, while explaining myself that this is for me uncomfortable. In some occasions now I know how to release this, specially now ūüėÄ as my business is still struggling, but most of the time still not, while I like to give when I have.

About giving…I got so many times dissapointed that I am giving (not talking about material things) and it is taken wrong or not even considered as an advice.

As conclusion for myself is, okay, you can still share and try to help, but only to those who are willing to accept. I might invite you or call you or tell you something that I think it could support you, from your respond I will know if I should share things with you further or not.

And nevertheless I learned, first I have to make my things “working” and then helping others. I do share now too, because this is my nature, I just reduce it to a lower level to dedicate that time to work on myself.

And I am very dissapointed in people when from the same people I share things with ask some help (there are exceptions!) I get no response to support me. I rather not ask. And sometimes I just have a fear of asking, because I do not want to overload you with my things.

Coming back to Dora, as i see her, she is a woman I go out to a place and when she does not feel well with the people, place, music or friends, she chooses to leave. But it is also not always about well-being, as far as I understood she also likes to visit more places in one night as she is very interested in everything.

So, it is, another thing  I learned from her. I do not have to stay in the situations I am not feeling comfortable, but also, there are sometimes so many happenings  in the Budapest nights for one evening, that I rather choose to see all of them and not sticking to one place, so I visit all the places I meet old and make new friends, untill I fall down or end up in Fogasház, as the last station.

I asked Dora to drop a line about herself, so please meet her…today I learned about her via her writing¬†that she likes poppy seeds ūüôā

Fotor111541715

“Hi to All! I’m Gabi’s friend, I’ve been living in Budapest for more than 12 years now and I must say the city still amuses me! As far as my intelligence and skills are concerned I’d be able to live in any part of the world -but any time I decide to leave this country like many others, something always happens. So my friends – including my international friends keep asking me: ‘Why are you still here?!’ For a long time I couldn’t say any proper answer, but these days 3 answers have crystallized in my mind:

(So what keeps me here?)

1. The Budapest underground art – and music life with its eccentric and extremely talented characters

2. My friends – there are approximately 20-30 who I could call my closer friends and simply I wouldn’t enjoy my days without them

3. Poppy seed (well, you may find it ridiculous, but Hungary is almost the only country in Europe where you can produce and eat poppy! I’m addicted to poppy seed cake and anything made with poppy since my childhood, so that can be the reason as well)

Of course I could mention many more answers why my life keeps going on here. On the other hand hand I believe that fate pushes you the direction you need to be. Naturally you have choices and different paths in front of you but you always end up in the place and among the people you need to be.”

And this is the song she is sending to all of you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZK5TC4a088&spfreload=10

***She could tell you much more about herself in person ūüėČ Meet her! Oh yeah, and I think she is TOO much tolerant with some of her friends….

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I started with writing about delegating tasks, I ended up with Dora…the other topic i will keep on writing some other time….

..

chorus help needed

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An acquitance asked me if I know the chorus Рtablature of this song or where can he find it,

I googled it, but just on a short…

I am sorry Jorge, I do not know, but maybe some of my musican friends/twitters has an idea…

P.s. it’s a¬†nice song ūüôā

it has¬†not really come in a right moment, or it has? ¬†actually maybe it has, it made me cry ūüôā

But, feelings are to be felt:

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/01/the-obvious-thing-about-feelings/

“Nikola, nisam ti ja majka” – it’s just title of a Serbian movie

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but u got busted, I am not changing the topic untill I find this guy…hihihihi

and “Nikola, nisam ¬†ti ja majka” means “Nikola I am not your mother”, I am quoting from one of the best comedy movies from Serbia, which is weird, crazy, it’s about the devil and angel in us…and a lot more

ok, I won’t continue describing it, ¬†go and watch it!

I will tell you the Serbian title of the movie, it’s called “Mi nismo andjeli 1. ” in translation “We are not angels – Part 1″.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104860/

unfortunately IMDB was quite “short” on the description, you can have insight on youtube, but I actually propose u just to go for it, it’s gonna be very different from Emir Kusturica movies.

Now, You can now imagine how stubborn and target-oriented I can be when I feel for something “that is that” and I keep pursuing doing it and going till the end, untill I get what I want. This is why I also say my modeling/acting/singing carreer is just starting, watch me…but sorry, this topic is not about that again.

I wanna finish the story about this guy in positive or negative way, so I can focus on my priorities, right now my mind is fully occupied with him and I cannot focus on else. So I need to sort it our, write it out,  make actions to find him.

Common, support me now in this, give me some tips, how would you find a person u lost and u know only his name and city of living.

If I find this guy and I get a kick in the ass, well he will get even a bigger one from me (okay I am just kidding). Somehow even I am afraid to say this, because u know there is always this one 1% ¬†of possibility that my intuition did ¬†not work well. I do not have this fear of rejection and to be honest I would be more happy to get a kick-ass, then not to know why he did not return back. This status of not knowing is just ‘woah!’

This morning ¬†after 5 hours sleeping I woke up and could not go back to sleep, my mind was full of him, how to find him…and then I remembered okay let’s see again brazilian groups, but maybe on google, schools with portugese language, church (can u imagine I wrote a mail to a priest, ahhahahahhahahha, but common in Italy almost 100% of the population is “religious”. ¬†Actually the mail to the priest I wrote today, OMG I am laughing at myself…I can imagine him tomorrow opening his mailbox (but hey, he is a modern priest, he has an e-mail) and before he goes for his Mass reading my mail about a silly separated women (okay he doesn’t know that, but I should have write that also into my mail – pitty i have forget – and also that I have a 3 year old kid) chasing a 25 year old, hahahhaha. ¬†I think he will do double confession and praying for me.

Anyways, I lack Italian knowledge and I have no courage to ask my Italian acquitances¬†to help me and I am also not sure they would help and would not look at me as on a weirdo. So I joined couple of forums, new professional expat sites, I am repeating professional sites, you know the ones for serious business mans and in the section about me I wrote the following: Hi, my purpose is to find Nicola and I was apologizing for my post, but I need all the networks now etc…. and on my surprise I even got mails from some guys, of course some of them offering me a date :)))) I did not reply as I am interested only in this person now, untill I get a final yes or no.

Otherwise you are probably also aware of the information, I read it many times, but I dont know exactly where that we are in about 3, 4 or to 5 people from e.g. ¬†the president of the US or any person in the world. The world is just small, sharing my blog would help me, but I feel stupid to ask such thing from you and also to do this act..it’s annoying for me…while I am sure I would do the same for some of my acquitances, friends if they would ask me.

I dont know how to ask help lots of times, but yeah I need it too….

So, I wrote to the priest, then to one Brazilian¬†expat, Internations ambassadors in Genova, communities, a journalist from England living in Rome, who is interviewing models and actors (I was not looking for him, he just popped-up, ¬†he will be surprised on my mail too) well, in the meantime I created new profiles on these new websites, which will open me new doors maybe for my “modeling, acting world” as for some of these sites I did not know, of course I immediatelly filled up with informations and I added my blog. Even if I get 1 new follower, for me it was worth to be registered to this site.

In the meatime I Googled Genova and I found out Columbus Cristopher was born there and Niccolo Paganini, I found about the Piazza Ferrari, about history (which okay I read only partially as i dont like¬†it), about the¬†Lanterna, Port, industry, language…and then languages, well that was the point where I understood why he did not speak Italian.

His language is somewhat Ligurian,and probably the

  • Zeneize (meaning Genoese, main Ligurian variant, spoken in Genoa)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genoese_dialect – and an extract that u also understand…

  • In its differences from standard Italian, Genoese is somewhat similar to Portuguese. The language is far from dying out. While most remaining speakers of it are elderly, many young people still speak the language. Further, there are several associations dedicated to keeping the language alive. One such association is O Castello in Chiavari, Genoa, Italy.

Yeah, but then I got another idea, maybe he is from Chiavari? It was loud in Fogash√°z when we met, and later I did not get back to this topic again…Fogash√°z ruinpub is always my last station in the night “cruisings” (most of the time, but usually I make short visits minimum to 3-4-5 places before)

********** I will have another task to find this association.

Why is he so special, well maybe I am fully wrong about him, I want to give it a try to find him… tomorrow I will do another search and then I will let it go…

But I think I already told you the¬†attention he gave me, the love and the acceptance and some intimate things¬†we shared and I kinda know what was his problem after he left, beside the fact that I did not take his contacts and I could not believe a 25 year old could just get over all my things…and look at me as on a person who really wants to get to know…well, I think I also f— up, as I kept telling him, he is too young and I have a kid, and he kept telling me, he doesnt give a s… about my ages and he cannot believe some guys did not like me or had fear to be with me because I have a kid…

U know when u are facing and meeting guys¬†who get bothered with this, it’s hard to believe that someone does not get bothered with these things at all, but it’s really interested you and this is where I made a mistake…I wanted, but I could not trust him and the worst is he left thinking: “I was just a one night stand for her’, because this is what I was reinforcing in him, and all because of my uncertanity that he really likes Gabi. He stepped back from the door saying I really want to see u,¬†i replied with not believing him and just saying “I was really glad to meet you, but I won’t be offended if you don’t call me I know it’s party time for you now in a new city”. ¬†I was lying to myself and him too, because even I understood he is here for a weekend I also felt it was a mistake saying it this way, he got a totally wrong impression. And there is another thing about him, but more intimate which made me to think and I realized I also f—-d up that we did not meet again. ¬†I want to meet him to clearify this.

He was looking at the photos of Filip and telling me: I think you¬†should start¬†preparing yourself lots of girls heart will be broken¬†ūüôā I smiled and replied: Yeah, I know…

Story ends here for today, sorry for the late post, though I promised in the afternoon, but I was busy having get ready my profiles and applying for jobs and later making selfies with my babysitter who got stuck in my flat for couple of hours with a bottle of Ros√© because of the snowing outside ūüôā

HELP ME TO FIND THIS GUY!

It was for the first time I could put on a side to be “the strong women” as he threated me as a woman, I almost trusted him 100% in those moments ¬†and I could releaf and allowed him to be a man. He taught me about this.

Maybe this is the outcome of our meeting,  this was the growth/recognition I got by meeting him that one night.

He was pure and original, without any masks and also almost 100% open about his feelings.00

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p.s. have you heard about Chiavari chairs?

“The Chiavari chair is used in the State Dining Room and Family Dining Room in the White House in Washington, D.C., and silver Chiavaris were used during the inauguration of Barack Obama as seating for his family and guests.”

 

 

 

About me

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Hello my readers,
My name is Gabriella Karvak, feel free to call me Gabi.
I am coming from Serbia, Banatski Dvor. I live in Hungary, in Budapest since 1996.
As usually these stories are told in old times, I was 18 years old when after finishing my secondary school graduation I decided to pursue my life in another country, Hungary. I got my travel bag into my hands, my parents bought me new trousers gave me about 100 German Marks and they set me on a train that was going from Subotica to Budapest and then I arrived to Budapest.
In my blog I am sharing  things about  traveling, parenting, modeling, acting, singing, culture, people and things about the world that interest me. 
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In this post I only wanna share shortly some things about me e.g. what my interests are and some basic thoughts about myself.
Two years ago I have quit my managerial job, that I was doing for 7 years at a multinational company, in that period I was also married and I had a baby. I just had too much stress in my life and I started to realize I am not living the life I would love to and my job was not challenging for me anymore. 
About a year ago, I started working in commercials, movies as an extra or actor and I am also going for photoshootings and actually I started to enjoy my life again through these jobs.
I am singing world music and I like singing traditional ex-Yugoslavian and Hungarian music too.
Singing, modeling, acting and writing are my big passion,  but it took me lots of years to understand these, but now I really wanna pursue doing them. Currently I am trying to catch all the opportunities to do these type of jobs, as:
1. I enjoy them,
2. With every work I am practising singing, acting, modeling,
3. I am practising how to overcome fear of “I cannot do it” to “I can do this too” attitude.
4. I am networking with lots of people and I love meeting new people.
5. followers and feedbacks on my blog are giving me more energy to pursue doing blogging, its nice to see that I have followers liking almost every post, or just simply they start following my writings.
I am also translator (Hungarian-English, Croatian/Serbian-English) and due to my language capabilities I would like to gain experience also in doing voice-overs for movies/commercials,¬†as there are ¬†many languages I speak: I am fluent in Hungarian, it is my first mother tongue, but I was raised in the so called country “Yugoslavia”, so I speak Serbian, Croatian, I am also fluent in English (I learned it on autodidact way). I am on conversational level in German language, ¬†I was learning it in elementary and secondary school. Recently I also started to learn Spanish.¬†
In my blog I will make mistakes while writing, but this is my English knowledge is and I like to express myself in easy way without complicating things.
Why I am writing in English? BECAUSE, I love to interract in English and it helps me to keep my knowledge on level and I reach many of you in many countries. Each time I realize a new country as follower among the statistics of my WordPress blog I post this  information on my Facebook page with a greeting for the visitor from the country.
Dancing is my sport, I dance Samba, I am interested in Kizomba to learn it.
I am also interested in spirituality, but in a decent amounts.
I am very much interested in different cultures, people and their life, beliefs. I like to see the beauty in everything that surrounds me. 
Interract with me on my Facebook page or over here. 
Here is one video about me.
It is my reel, its a job that we created together last year with a Swedish/English/Swiss team in Budapest as video stock photos, the video reel is an extract of the situations we acted and they recorded:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHtMRdLEmaU#t=20
There is one favourite commercial I played in a main role too, it was filmed for Stabilo, you know the kids pencils etc brand, this video you can find it on my Facebook page in the video section on the left side, if you scroll down a bit on my page. And here is my Facebook page, I need your lifes, if you like my profile and posts.
I am blogging on there too, as I am following couple of ¬†interesting groups about life, Budapest,traveling, health etc…
So please find me as Gabi – public figure or by visiting the page bellow:
Page: https://www.facebook.com/GabiKarvak
This is it! Enjoy reading ūüôā

Paulo Coelho quotes

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I decided to collect the quotes of Mr. Coelho, he is one of the most inspiring persons I ever read.

I hope to meet him once personally to thank him for his thoughts!

And this one is one of the bests I’ve ever read!

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He is just not that into you!

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A friend of my told me I should limit my posts on WordPress on 2-3 posts weekly, because otherwise people won’t read it.

I have to say I do not agree with her on that, maybe for her experience this is valid, but not for mine. I am on opinion, those who are interested will read me, those who are not, well they are free not to read me.

The things I am writing here are in a first row for myself, I am writing because sometimes this is the way I come to some realization (sometimes noting down my thoughts help me to sleep well), I have time to think about the things that happened and to explain myself some situations, after a while I can also re-read my thoughts and see if I still agree with the opinions/thoughts I wrote or something has changed in me in the meantime.

I had a crazy weekend with couple of hour of sleepings and now again when I had the time to sleep I got woken up by the thoughts of my personal problems…so I was turning over¬†from side to side, trying to fall a sleep and each time i almost fell asleep, another thought woke me up…so i gave it in…I ended up thinking of the movie i saw yesterday.

I¬†started to summarize the outcomes of the movie “He’s just not into you” that i went to watch¬†in “Kolor Cinema”.

Before I left to see the movie I posted on Facebook if any of my friends is for a movie and I got a private message from a Hungarian singer (i leave her anonymous for now) to catch up if I am not against to meet new people.

But you know me, I am a big fan of making new friends, so I was totally in, we exchanged few words on a chat, realized we have common friends (from my different parts of life periods, it’ so interesting…) and agreed to meet. In the end she could not show up, because she got stuck on her work, but I got an invitation for Sunday to their concert in P√≥tkulcs, which I will check on, of course.

Anyways, after this another acquitance wrote me to be there and in the end I met an Indian friend too. Even going alone would not be a problem, but yeah, I am a social person so I like to be among people, even I am also fine to do things on my own too (many times actually).

Before I left I checked on the movie, the title caught me “He’s just not into you”. I am not a fan of Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck is okay, Bradley Cooper, a little bit more okay :)))¬†but the other actors were interesting (after I finished¬†the movie, I can conclude this)

This is the movie on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/

Watch the trailer, the little girl who got a hit from a boy¬†and¬†her mom explaining her the situation at the start in an”innapropriate”¬†way…

“We are programmed, if the guy acts like a total jerk, that means he likes you!”

I heard these sentences too when I was a child, maybe not from my mom, but girlfriends, aunties, uncles etc., my “programme” is not running well either. ūüėĬ†This sentence “ringed the bells” by me too, not for the first time, of course. Somehow,¬†I knew¬†by watching this¬†movie I will understand some things about my relationships.

I guess most of you would never watch¬†such movie, these are those which most ppl call “lemonade”, but actually it was a comedy/drama/romance (3:1) and I have to admit I am more amused by these movies then by¬†horror or sci-fi movie for sure…I do not get people who does not like to laugh, to be easy-going like these movies and I do not get horror movie fans, why is it good to be scared and watch such things, I would really like to talk about this with someone to understand.

So, i got there i got my beanbag, made myself comfortable and started to watch the movie.

Watching this movie was like really waking up from my illusions, my relationships just started to pop-up I started to reflect on them and actually I found some my life situations in this movie.

The girl Gigi chasing the wrong romances, while the guy Alex is a front of her, who is also not aware of this, as he is occupied with chasing sexual relationships, but not able to attach.

Actually Gigi and Alex got me the most, specially with the sentence she said to this “macho” guy in a moment he threated her in a very stupid way, it was something like this:

“I might fall tousand times and¬†feel ashamed¬†even more times, but I will always show real feelings, and even so i will find earlier someone then you will ever, you will never be able to get attached to anyone and you will bump always into the same non-sense relationships…”¬†

I agree with her, I do embarass myself¬†too, but I do everything with my heart ūüėÄ ūüėÄ

And Alex: because he was so good in providing informations/tips for Gigi in her dates ūüėÄ . He was explaining different situations that are anyways so obvious too us, but we women so many times go into wrong stories in our heads why he did not call, why he did not write, ¬†he is probably just busy etc…..while¬†it’s obvious: “he is just not that into you”.

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There was a couple where the girl really wanted to get married,  but the guy was never ready, but he was the best partner for sure she could have met. He was there for her in the worst moments. She comes to this realization and let go her expectations for him.

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Another couple, they were a married couple, where the guy is cheating on his wife. He was not able to choose between his wife and his mistress, because of the so known limitations many people have:  He rather let his true love to leave and stays in the marriage that did not work.

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A girl trying to find dates online, of course meeting weirdo’s ¬†(Well I have nice stories related to this too in my life)

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A girl who follows the married guy and she realizes, she was never that important to him.

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A girl who has a guy always to go back, untill she realizes, he is a nice person and he probably could love her and cherrish her and be the best partner, but he is just not “that”. She decides to move on.

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A guy who is running after a girl, who is actually “not that into him”.

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P.S. And yeah, if he does not call you, it means he was not that into you ūüėČ ¬†…well, I sort of agree with this, but not in all situations.¬†

I had similar¬†situation this weekend, that the guy did not call me back. ¬†ūüėÄ

I had to accept this and I am still trying to convince myself that I am accepting the fact he did not call me,¬†even we had a great time and he had my number to call me. I have to accept and conclude, this was only a one night stand. And I cannot describe how hard is to do this “accepting”. (I am actually smiling at¬†myself while writing this, because I am totally not capable to accept this rejection.)

Obviously it could not be more, we both knew that from the beginning, but we did not wanted to waste our time thinking about the other days, but to enjoy the time we had. Of course, it is so hard to let go when u like someone very much for the first time in your life. He was feeding me with nice feelings and compliments so much. And I truly believe this was not only an acting from his side, we were one in those moments and we enjoyed every single moment we had together.

No chance that was just a game, the way he hugged me with his whole body and being, his whispers, the way he touched me, our fingers and legs were clasped all the time, we were together in the silent and smiling at each other. We could not sleep, we could not stop caressing each other, I fell in love with his face and soft, but bushy hair.

He¬†was for the first time in Budapest, we spent a wonderfull night together and in the morning I made a breakfast for him and let him go, my heart was broken the whole day. And I knew he felt the same, as he was stepping back from the door saying: “I wanna see you again”.

I told him: “I was really glad to meet you¬†and I would love to see you¬†again, but I will also understand if this won’t¬†happen now.”

I know he did not wanted to leave, but also he was taken by the new experiences he can gain about the city. I can understand that he had a hunger for getting to know this city, local people, buildings, the city in the night.  He was travelling with a friend, whom he had to meet in the hostel that day.  He was hungry for new experiences and I am glad I was part of it, I do not regret a single moment as it was the most caring person I have ever met in those moments that we spent together.

I would lie not saying I was secretly waiting for him to call me, which did not happen and made me really sad, but somehow I feel we will meet still in the future. Yes, I am a women, ¬†like those women from the movie, I am hoping, even I read this sentence ūüôā¬†“He is just not that into you”.

He convinced me again there are exceptions in every nation and you meet the person and not his nationality. My opinion about having a boyfriend from Brazil was like, pls no. I started again to generalise and I am glad he got in a right moment to wake me up! Nicola is born in Italy, but both parents with Brazilians roots. When he told me I almost shoot myself at first.

To admit you, I only had one person that was a bit more then a friend for me as Brazilian, and since then for some reason I bump into them everywhere and I do not mind, I love their company.

And this guy was¬†really great…

And here I have to say to my Brazilian guy friends, relax, I also wanna avoid sometimes some¬†Hungarians and Serbians¬†or¬†people coming from the Balkans, because I cannot like all of them. Anyways, it’s really stupid to generalize people, just stupid.

The same night when I met Nicola, I met Peti after 1 year and 1 month in the street while heading¬†with my ex-collegue to the next bar…I could not believe. This¬† guy Peti literally escaped from me on the NYE celebration in Super8, because I was not sitting next to him after we had kissed. We greated each other with a smile…he does not know what additional story I have about him after he left me in Super8…:D

And even wierder situation, ¬†couple of hours later, as¬†we were going home on the tram with Nicola I bumped into Peti¬†again…After 1 year and 1 month twice in the night? ¬†Why???

I wanna stop the chit-chat that my mind immediately started to programme into my mind…

you know what is it telling me? “You will meet Nicola¬†again, Peti was a sign, that people come back to your life the ones you have unfinished story with…be patient”….

and I have to admit I am fighting with my mind that is quoting me : “He is just not that into you” and I still don’t believe it…

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This guy brings me a smile on my face each time I remember him¬†ūüôā

dance

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Sorry that I had to leave,

I could not stay longer,

I experienced my body being out of my control,

I was taken by the music,

my body moving without my involvement,

I closed my eyes,

I felt the stress leaving and my actions were not followed by my mind,

My hips, hands, knees, legs were moving without stress,

A crazy feeling to realize how relaxed my body can be without my mind control.

First, I did not understand the signs of my body and I tried to beat them, suddenly I started to pay attention to it and just letting it to do whatever it wants,

The more I allowed to my body, the more I felt the aches going out of it, becoming more flexible,

I had a feeling I am a Samba dancer,

the movements were so real, my knees, hips, hands, they just danced,

I could dance forever…

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I do dance Samba, if u are interested where, ask me!

let him go…

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another “let go”, another recognition, every person I meet brings me to conclusions what are those qualities I really felt true for myself and which are those I still have to “look for”, to recognise them, as they bring me an easiness and less stress in my next relationship. These are not expectations, but feelings-vibes (positive and negative) that make me feel I am or not with the right person. You are all my teachers and I am gratefull for that.

I realised each time I pick one of the songs to listen in my actual mood, the lyrics, the music, they just reflect the thoughts and feelings that are currently in my mind and my heart…here is today’s song, I am in a melancholy ūüôā

The lyrics are something like this, i hope I did not miss the sense, correct me if needed (natives, teachears ūüėÄ

Someone else is huging my love….By Balkan Fanatik & Rajk√≥ Zenekar

I smoked cigars and I burned my lips,

back at home someone else is huging my love,

someone else is huging him, and sitting in his laps,

someone else is winking into his light blue eyes.

I was happy only once in my life,

even then two tears ran out of my eyes,

I was crying from the happiness that he loves me,

And in a sorrow that he cannot be mine,

I was crying from the happiness he loves me,

And in a sorrow that he cannot be mine.

I was falling from one dream to the other,

Now, my love I will no longer take care of you,

I will not even remember you anymore,

Let Jesus pay for you kindness.

I will not even remember you anymore,

Let Jesus pay for you kindness.”

I am not gratefull to my parents in my life for many things, but I am so gratefull they thought me to love, listen¬†and sing traditional music,¬†this is one of the musics that touch my¬†deepest inner soul and this is the song that reflects me this morning.¬†I am repeatedly listening to it¬†(as usual, min 20 times in a row ūüôā

Today this¬†song brings me waves of sad feelings on the surface, just in a right way. My tears are running through¬†my face waking some deep burden feeling, but without knowing what’s the real sadness behind, triggered with the feelings to a person I met 2 days ago, someone who I cannot describe really,¬†I am sad and I am glad at once. I am glad I could feel with him and¬†he felt with me.

I cannot describe the feeling having someone next to you who has full acceptance and understanding for you, someone who you meet for the first time and has no objections on you, accepts you just as you are and even the silence with him is cheerfull,  our breathing was calming each other. We just layed huged and enjoyed the feeling for being so close to each other.

He is the first angel sent to me,

I could not believe he was so mature for his ages, so thoughtfull, gentle and carefull.

I met him by sudden, while looking for another person I met that night,¬†while walking next to the bar we looked at each other. ¬†I saw a¬†beautifull blond, blue eyed “well-known smile” guy and handed my hand to him with a smile . I wanted you too feel man and leaving you the space to make a step toward me too. I “played” a little bit that I am not interested in you, ¬†while wishing that you “hunt me”.

Something inside of me whispered, give him a chance and I stayed.

“Couple of minutes later I was taken with you fully. I still cannot believe how you¬†resonated with my body, you¬†knew exactly what you have to do with me in those moments we danced. Your kiss, your gentle massaging touch was releasing all the stress in my mind, head, back, neck. I even said to myself, this cannot be true, I felt like you have insight in my body flows and touching me right at the places I needed.

You thaught me that night how to be a woman in mans hands, I came to a realisation how much I had the leading roles in most of my life situations, relationships.

I never knew how to handover myself fully to a man, relax and just be sometimes a weak woman, I had to be a tough women as I was choosing weak men next to me.

I had to let go my illusion of a strong women and I allowed you to dance in your way, to move my body in your way and to relax in your hands, You gained my trust.

This meeting was ment to happen, you were one of those soulmates I would have earlier missed to meet in my life and I am so glad I looked around and let you close to myself.

After you left I bumped into this article…even this article is not sudden…”

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/01/your-soulmate-isnt-who-you-think-it-is/

And please do not listen to woman who say you are too much hugging, kissing, gentle, caring, they have no clue what they are missing and what love is! They are emotionally poor…