He is just not that into you!


A friend of my told me I should limit my posts on WordPress on 2-3 posts weekly, because otherwise people won’t read it.

I have to say I do not agree with her on that, maybe for her experience this is valid, but not for mine. I am on opinion, those who are interested will read me, those who are not, well they are free not to read me.

The things I am writing here are in a first row for myself, I am writing because sometimes this is the way I come to some realization (sometimes noting down my thoughts help me to sleep well), I have time to think about the things that happened and to explain myself some situations, after a while I can also re-read my thoughts and see if I still agree with the opinions/thoughts I wrote or something has changed in me in the meantime.

I had a crazy weekend with couple of hour of sleepings and now again when I had the time to sleep I got woken up by the thoughts of my personal problems…so I was turning over from side to side, trying to fall a sleep and each time i almost fell asleep, another thought woke me up…so i gave it in…I ended up thinking of the movie i saw yesterday.

I started to summarize the outcomes of the movie “He’s just not into you” that i went to watch in “Kolor Cinema”.

Before I left to see the movie I posted on Facebook if any of my friends is for a movie and I got a private message from a Hungarian singer (i leave her anonymous for now) to catch up if I am not against to meet new people.

But you know me, I am a big fan of making new friends, so I was totally in, we exchanged few words on a chat, realized we have common friends (from my different parts of life periods, it’ so interesting…) and agreed to meet. In the end she could not show up, because she got stuck on her work, but I got an invitation for Sunday to their concert in Pótkulcs, which I will check on, of course.

Anyways, after this another acquitance wrote me to be there and in the end I met an Indian friend too. Even going alone would not be a problem, but yeah, I am a social person so I like to be among people, even I am also fine to do things on my own too (many times actually).

Before I left I checked on the movie, the title caught me “He’s just not into you”. I am not a fan of Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck is okay, Bradley Cooper, a little bit more okay :))) but the other actors were interesting (after I finished the movie, I can conclude this)

This is the movie on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/

Watch the trailer, the little girl who got a hit from a boy and her mom explaining her the situation at the start in an”innapropriate” way…

“We are programmed, if the guy acts like a total jerk, that means he likes you!”

I heard these sentences too when I was a child, maybe not from my mom, but girlfriends, aunties, uncles etc., my “programme” is not running well either. 😀 This sentence “ringed the bells” by me too, not for the first time, of course. Somehow, I knew by watching this movie I will understand some things about my relationships.

I guess most of you would never watch such movie, these are those which most ppl call “lemonade”, but actually it was a comedy/drama/romance (3:1) and I have to admit I am more amused by these movies then by horror or sci-fi movie for sure…I do not get people who does not like to laugh, to be easy-going like these movies and I do not get horror movie fans, why is it good to be scared and watch such things, I would really like to talk about this with someone to understand.

So, i got there i got my beanbag, made myself comfortable and started to watch the movie.

Watching this movie was like really waking up from my illusions, my relationships just started to pop-up I started to reflect on them and actually I found some my life situations in this movie.

The girl Gigi chasing the wrong romances, while the guy Alex is a front of her, who is also not aware of this, as he is occupied with chasing sexual relationships, but not able to attach.

Actually Gigi and Alex got me the most, specially with the sentence she said to this “macho” guy in a moment he threated her in a very stupid way, it was something like this:

“I might fall tousand times and feel ashamed even more times, but I will always show real feelings, and even so i will find earlier someone then you will ever, you will never be able to get attached to anyone and you will bump always into the same non-sense relationships…” 

I agree with her, I do embarass myself too, but I do everything with my heart 😀 😀

And Alex: because he was so good in providing informations/tips for Gigi in her dates 😀 . He was explaining different situations that are anyways so obvious too us, but we women so many times go into wrong stories in our heads why he did not call, why he did not write,  he is probably just busy etc…..while it’s obvious: “he is just not that into you”.


There was a couple where the girl really wanted to get married,  but the guy was never ready, but he was the best partner for sure she could have met. He was there for her in the worst moments. She comes to this realization and let go her expectations for him.


Another couple, they were a married couple, where the guy is cheating on his wife. He was not able to choose between his wife and his mistress, because of the so known limitations many people have:  He rather let his true love to leave and stays in the marriage that did not work.


A girl trying to find dates online, of course meeting weirdo’s  (Well I have nice stories related to this too in my life)


A girl who follows the married guy and she realizes, she was never that important to him.


A girl who has a guy always to go back, untill she realizes, he is a nice person and he probably could love her and cherrish her and be the best partner, but he is just not “that”. She decides to move on.


A guy who is running after a girl, who is actually “not that into him”.


P.S. And yeah, if he does not call you, it means he was not that into you 😉  …well, I sort of agree with this, but not in all situations. 

I had similar situation this weekend, that the guy did not call me back.  😀

I had to accept this and I am still trying to convince myself that I am accepting the fact he did not call me, even we had a great time and he had my number to call me. I have to accept and conclude, this was only a one night stand. And I cannot describe how hard is to do this “accepting”. (I am actually smiling at myself while writing this, because I am totally not capable to accept this rejection.)

Obviously it could not be more, we both knew that from the beginning, but we did not wanted to waste our time thinking about the other days, but to enjoy the time we had. Of course, it is so hard to let go when u like someone very much for the first time in your life. He was feeding me with nice feelings and compliments so much. And I truly believe this was not only an acting from his side, we were one in those moments and we enjoyed every single moment we had together.

No chance that was just a game, the way he hugged me with his whole body and being, his whispers, the way he touched me, our fingers and legs were clasped all the time, we were together in the silent and smiling at each other. We could not sleep, we could not stop caressing each other, I fell in love with his face and soft, but bushy hair.

He was for the first time in Budapest, we spent a wonderfull night together and in the morning I made a breakfast for him and let him go, my heart was broken the whole day. And I knew he felt the same, as he was stepping back from the door saying: “I wanna see you again”.

I told him: “I was really glad to meet you and I would love to see you again, but I will also understand if this won’t happen now.”

I know he did not wanted to leave, but also he was taken by the new experiences he can gain about the city. I can understand that he had a hunger for getting to know this city, local people, buildings, the city in the night.  He was travelling with a friend, whom he had to meet in the hostel that day.  He was hungry for new experiences and I am glad I was part of it, I do not regret a single moment as it was the most caring person I have ever met in those moments that we spent together.

I would lie not saying I was secretly waiting for him to call me, which did not happen and made me really sad, but somehow I feel we will meet still in the future. Yes, I am a women,  like those women from the movie, I am hoping, even I read this sentence 🙂 “He is just not that into you”.

He convinced me again there are exceptions in every nation and you meet the person and not his nationality. My opinion about having a boyfriend from Brazil was like, pls no. I started again to generalise and I am glad he got in a right moment to wake me up! Nicola is born in Italy, but both parents with Brazilians roots. When he told me I almost shoot myself at first.

To admit you, I only had one person that was a bit more then a friend for me as Brazilian, and since then for some reason I bump into them everywhere and I do not mind, I love their company.

And this guy was really great…

And here I have to say to my Brazilian guy friends, relax, I also wanna avoid sometimes some Hungarians and Serbians or people coming from the Balkans, because I cannot like all of them. Anyways, it’s really stupid to generalize people, just stupid.

The same night when I met Nicola, I met Peti after 1 year and 1 month in the street while heading with my ex-collegue to the next bar…I could not believe. This  guy Peti literally escaped from me on the NYE celebration in Super8, because I was not sitting next to him after we had kissed. We greated each other with a smile…he does not know what additional story I have about him after he left me in Super8…:D

And even wierder situation,  couple of hours later, as we were going home on the tram with Nicola I bumped into Peti again…After 1 year and 1 month twice in the night?  Why???

I wanna stop the chit-chat that my mind immediately started to programme into my mind…

you know what is it telling me? “You will meet Nicola again, Peti was a sign, that people come back to your life the ones you have unfinished story with…be patient”….

and I have to admit I am fighting with my mind that is quoting me : “He is just not that into you” and I still don’t believe it…


This guy brings me a smile on my face each time I remember him 🙂


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