…that u dont wanna give up looking for someone you lost? I am still looking for Nicola from Genova..yeah…
I never experienced this ever in my life…before…he just got into my heart and mind with his full personality..
I still cannot give it in to find him…
even it will be the biggest failure in my life, i do not care and I am not ashamed about it at all…and I will move rocks to find him…
Yesterday, after I finished applying for jobs in “Italy” I started to investigate where and how could I find Nicola.
First, I wrote to the hostel he stayed at, Retox, but it turned out they make administration only based on country and names, but they could not find him, the guy in the hostel really wanted to help me, but I do not have lots informations about him, so I ended up saying thank you for trying.
I was sitting and thinking what else I could do…
And then I remembered, Brazilian people I met till now in general I had the impression they tend to stick together and tend to go to the same places all the time, not opening up to new experiences always – there are exceptions of course – I know some of those too, and then I remembered, common this is so normal, I was like that too, the first years of my years in Budapest I was lost, I arrived alone without my family from a village of 1300 people to a city of 2 million people, not knowing anyone, I was playing secure too, looking for a friends from the surrounding I knew, I was surrounded with people from the ex-Yugoslavian countries, going to parties with ex-Yugoslavian music, visiting the same places, living in a dormitory with ex-Yugoslavians and hanging out with them etc. But I also had a luck that this dormitory was also very international, so from time to time I was making friendship with other nationalities too and trying out new thing.
But I have to admit, not so extensively like I do it nowadays. I realized it broadens my views, I meet great people, whether locals or world travellers.
Now I am at my second home, but much more open, btw i can confirm now, the other half of my life is now in Budapest.
So getting back to Nicola…
what started to concern me, he was already born in Italy in a different culture and I do not know how much he sticks to the people of his “home” country, we had not much time to get to know him better.
From my experience being born in a different country then your mothertongue also means to keep your original culture values, but also get integrated to the culture of the country you live in and you change.
This is why I am also with mixed feelings when I am asked about my nationality or why I am cheerleading for Serbians on matches when there is e.g. a Waterpolo match. I never can claim myself as pure Hungarian, I always add: but, I am from Serbia or Vojvodina (north part of Serbia). My prove that I am “i do not know what nationality”, but also that I am getting used to be Hungarian..but look at me how relaxed I am with Serbians (Toni, my trouble in need with and great drummer, Adrihanna the cheerleader of the Serbian waterpolo team, who actually gave us free tickets and we could experience the great atmosphere),
or look at me with a Hungarian :)) okay, this is just a joke, the guy is really a famous Hungarian waterpolist Gergely Kiss, and on the photo I was shocked that he was cursing in Serbian (showing us his language knowledge 😀 😀 😀
Well I don’t know. Serbia is a small country with lots of good sportists, beautiful guys and women and I spent my childhood watching football, basketball, volleyball, waterpolo, tennis etc. matches with my parents. It’s got into my blood and it will stay like that forever.
I love Serbian language (ex-Yugoslavian languages) and I am glad to meet people from there, and I do have still lasting friendships from my “home” country. Serbians, even in the worst situations they survive and the coffee bars are always full of ppl drinking coffee during daytime. I always wondered how can they do it…Well, I know now…they are too much relaxed. 😀
During the bombing in ’99 I was shaking like leaves (i will share more about this later some time), while my friends were sitting on top of their houses smoking whatever and drinking beers.
On the other hand I never knew which is my home…:) whether it’s Serbia (or the non-existing Yugoslavia) or Hungary, as I got good and bad things from both.
I know from my own experiences, sometimes I also tend to visit those ex-Yugoslavian places with programmes and in decent amounts I like still to listen to my home country music – Balkan music, to make new ex-Yugoslavian friends in Hungary and in those countries, to keep the old ones etc, but I pick the music I like to listen to or go to and the people I like to be with. So, if I turn you down for a Balkan party/programme, it’s because that’s not the type of the music I wanna listen at that point, but it does not mean I will not show up to take a look next time or catch up with you. Some of you will who is this concerning too, and now maybe you will understand me. 😉
Ah, I get distracted all the time and I forget what I started to write about…Okay, I will write you more about my life in Serbia too another time, but let me finish the story I started, at least partially…
So, about sticking together with ppl from the same country….
I hope he is also a person that is also looking sometimes for places that are related to his roots, as I realized he is interested in Samba and Kizomba and latino world in general and he is learning Spanish,actually he can talk Spanish (more then me). And he said he wants to teach me those languages. I do not need more proof for myself to keep on looking for him.
I remembered to find group of Genovans on Facebook and started to post that I am looking for him. I posted on Couchsurfing in a similar groups, I found Capoeira clubs, Brasiliero restaurants etc…and just posted what I knew and I felt.
And again, why i like Couchsurfing, a German guy wrote me: Gabi, move to Genova or go to Genova for couple of days,weeks and walk around a lot you will meet him, it’s not a big city and people tend to go to the same places…
I am not saying I will move to Genova, but the idea is really good 😀
After couple of hours later I felt a bit more calmer, I did my job, I cannot do more for this issue, so I let it go.
Today in the morning, of course I woke up with him on my mind. I said to Filip, I do not know how to erase this guy from my head. My wise son said: mom, this guy is stupid he did not call you. I nodded you are really right.
And the next moment, for some reason my mind sent me an info: common give it another try at the hostel, his friend was from Chile, his name was Pablo…(f…., of course I could not stop myself not to message again the hostel)…btw I met a Chilean couple in Budapest few weeks ago on concert of Taraf de Akácfa in Auróra, Vero and Pablo. 🙂
I messaged the Hostel, another guy named Dani responded saying: I will try to find him…
whatever happens, this is another post I am happy you read 😉
oh, and btw. there was last year a French guy I met in Instant and who found me knowing only my nickname after our weird meeting and situation we got in, he wanted to appologize for some of his acts, which actually were not an issue at all for me, but I was glad to hear from him and I am in contact with him since then…
I also could not believe how he made it, but he found the way, if you want something you can do it, he found me to clearify himself, I appreaciate him a lot because of that!
And I really feel I do not want to loose Nicola from my life, whatever will happen afterwards, because he was special, and he did not know that about himself and he left without knowing this, but as he said: I wanna see you again for sure, I reply the same, this time I will make the effort to find someone who got close to me with his personality, because such people we should not allow to leave.
Lesson learned: next time I am taking the phone number or Facebook account and name with surname, or at least one full information 😀 Why should I wait for a guy if I know I can make this step too, there are no rules for this who will make the first step.
Oh and btw. from my experience with Brazilian guys, often u have to make the first step, to give an exact sign by contacting them, by approaching them or just being interested in them or saying to them: I like you! Oh and you who are reading me, please feel free to argue with me! I am glad to listen to your opinion even anonymously.
Don’t worry, I do not see by names who is reading my blog, I only see the numbers (you know, statistics of the countries visited you…but e.g. I have visitors from all over the world, and i have many friends from all over the world 🙂
okay, I had one person yesterday from Mali via Twitter I think, well, i am almost 100% sure I do not know a person from Mali, but I would like to know what was his/her opinion about my post he/she read 😉
I would really like to get feedback’s here, u don’t have to sign up, just post your comment, I wanna see your opinion, agreement/disagreement it helps me to grow in my life and I like to get feedback if I am good or bad in something what I am doing.
Thank you for that in advance!