“Nikola, nisam ti ja majka” – it’s just title of a Serbian movie


but u got busted, I am not changing the topic untill I find this guy…hihihihi

and “Nikola, nisam  ti ja majka” means “Nikola I am not your mother”, I am quoting from one of the best comedy movies from Serbia, which is weird, crazy, it’s about the devil and angel in us…and a lot more

ok, I won’t continue describing it,  go and watch it!

I will tell you the Serbian title of the movie, it’s called “Mi nismo andjeli 1. ” in translation “We are not angels – Part 1″.


unfortunately IMDB was quite “short” on the description, you can have insight on youtube, but I actually propose u just to go for it, it’s gonna be very different from Emir Kusturica movies.

Now, You can now imagine how stubborn and target-oriented I can be when I feel for something “that is that” and I keep pursuing doing it and going till the end, untill I get what I want. This is why I also say my modeling/acting/singing carreer is just starting, watch me…but sorry, this topic is not about that again.

I wanna finish the story about this guy in positive or negative way, so I can focus on my priorities, right now my mind is fully occupied with him and I cannot focus on else. So I need to sort it our, write it out,  make actions to find him.

Common, support me now in this, give me some tips, how would you find a person u lost and u know only his name and city of living.

If I find this guy and I get a kick in the ass, well he will get even a bigger one from me (okay I am just kidding). Somehow even I am afraid to say this, because u know there is always this one 1%  of possibility that my intuition did  not work well. I do not have this fear of rejection and to be honest I would be more happy to get a kick-ass, then not to know why he did not return back. This status of not knowing is just ‘woah!’

This morning  after 5 hours sleeping I woke up and could not go back to sleep, my mind was full of him, how to find him…and then I remembered okay let’s see again brazilian groups, but maybe on google, schools with portugese language, church (can u imagine I wrote a mail to a priest, ahhahahahhahahha, but common in Italy almost 100% of the population is “religious”.  Actually the mail to the priest I wrote today, OMG I am laughing at myself…I can imagine him tomorrow opening his mailbox (but hey, he is a modern priest, he has an e-mail) and before he goes for his Mass reading my mail about a silly separated women (okay he doesn’t know that, but I should have write that also into my mail – pitty i have forget – and also that I have a 3 year old kid) chasing a 25 year old, hahahhaha.  I think he will do double confession and praying for me.

Anyways, I lack Italian knowledge and I have no courage to ask my Italian acquitances to help me and I am also not sure they would help and would not look at me as on a weirdo. So I joined couple of forums, new professional expat sites, I am repeating professional sites, you know the ones for serious business mans and in the section about me I wrote the following: Hi, my purpose is to find Nicola and I was apologizing for my post, but I need all the networks now etc…. and on my surprise I even got mails from some guys, of course some of them offering me a date :)))) I did not reply as I am interested only in this person now, untill I get a final yes or no.

Otherwise you are probably also aware of the information, I read it many times, but I dont know exactly where that we are in about 3, 4 or to 5 people from e.g.  the president of the US or any person in the world. The world is just small, sharing my blog would help me, but I feel stupid to ask such thing from you and also to do this act..it’s annoying for me…while I am sure I would do the same for some of my acquitances, friends if they would ask me.

I dont know how to ask help lots of times, but yeah I need it too….

So, I wrote to the priest, then to one Brazilian expat, Internations ambassadors in Genova, communities, a journalist from England living in Rome, who is interviewing models and actors (I was not looking for him, he just popped-up,  he will be surprised on my mail too) well, in the meantime I created new profiles on these new websites, which will open me new doors maybe for my “modeling, acting world” as for some of these sites I did not know, of course I immediatelly filled up with informations and I added my blog. Even if I get 1 new follower, for me it was worth to be registered to this site.

In the meatime I Googled Genova and I found out Columbus Cristopher was born there and Niccolo Paganini, I found about the Piazza Ferrari, about history (which okay I read only partially as i dont like it), about the Lanterna, Port, industry, language…and then languages, well that was the point where I understood why he did not speak Italian.

His language is somewhat Ligurian,and probably the

  • Zeneize (meaning Genoese, main Ligurian variant, spoken in Genoa)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genoese_dialect – and an extract that u also understand…

  • In its differences from standard Italian, Genoese is somewhat similar to Portuguese. The language is far from dying out. While most remaining speakers of it are elderly, many young people still speak the language. Further, there are several associations dedicated to keeping the language alive. One such association is O Castello in Chiavari, Genoa, Italy.

Yeah, but then I got another idea, maybe he is from Chiavari? It was loud in Fogasház when we met, and later I did not get back to this topic again…Fogasház ruinpub is always my last station in the night “cruisings” (most of the time, but usually I make short visits minimum to 3-4-5 places before)

********** I will have another task to find this association.

Why is he so special, well maybe I am fully wrong about him, I want to give it a try to find him… tomorrow I will do another search and then I will let it go…

But I think I already told you the attention he gave me, the love and the acceptance and some intimate things we shared and I kinda know what was his problem after he left, beside the fact that I did not take his contacts and I could not believe a 25 year old could just get over all my things…and look at me as on a person who really wants to get to know…well, I think I also f— up, as I kept telling him, he is too young and I have a kid, and he kept telling me, he doesnt give a s… about my ages and he cannot believe some guys did not like me or had fear to be with me because I have a kid…

U know when u are facing and meeting guys who get bothered with this, it’s hard to believe that someone does not get bothered with these things at all, but it’s really interested you and this is where I made a mistake…I wanted, but I could not trust him and the worst is he left thinking: “I was just a one night stand for her’, because this is what I was reinforcing in him, and all because of my uncertanity that he really likes Gabi. He stepped back from the door saying I really want to see u, i replied with not believing him and just saying “I was really glad to meet you, but I won’t be offended if you don’t call me I know it’s party time for you now in a new city”.  I was lying to myself and him too, because even I understood he is here for a weekend I also felt it was a mistake saying it this way, he got a totally wrong impression. And there is another thing about him, but more intimate which made me to think and I realized I also f—-d up that we did not meet again.  I want to meet him to clearify this.

He was looking at the photos of Filip and telling me: I think you should start preparing yourself lots of girls heart will be broken 🙂 I smiled and replied: Yeah, I know…

Story ends here for today, sorry for the late post, though I promised in the afternoon, but I was busy having get ready my profiles and applying for jobs and later making selfies with my babysitter who got stuck in my flat for couple of hours with a bottle of Rosé because of the snowing outside 🙂


It was for the first time I could put on a side to be “the strong women” as he threated me as a woman, I almost trusted him 100% in those moments  and I could releaf and allowed him to be a man. He taught me about this.

Maybe this is the outcome of our meeting,  this was the growth/recognition I got by meeting him that one night.

He was pure and original, without any masks and also almost 100% open about his feelings.00


p.s. have you heard about Chiavari chairs?

“The Chiavari chair is used in the State Dining Room and Family Dining Room in the White House in Washington, D.C., and silver Chiavaris were used during the inauguration of Barack Obama as seating for his family and guests.”





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