scheduling tasks and sticking to it…and then i ended up again writing about something else…about my friends…

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I almost “always” plan my tasks in advance,  but leaving flexibility in it…it’s easy to switch the days, mostly I am not delaying to accomplish the task that was ment for that day, but sometimes that is possible too,

yes, I am not as strict as I seem sometimes, i also recognise sometimes I just do not have the  energy to do the ones scheduled, but I will  rather take and accomplish another thing…and then change in my calender the input, so I have an insight and prove to myself that I added something to the world today 🙂

E.g. I planned to register to 10  new modeling agencies in Italy yesterday, but I realized I am just delaying to do it, I started to write an e-mail  to a new accountant company (I need a reliable one and my friend Dani proposed me one, I will check on them) as in December I visited one that my other friend Dora proposed, but the lady there was,  I do not know, I just did not felt her right…and it’s quite far from the city, it took me about an hour to get there and I am a conformist and I do not always like to waste my time by travelling (yeah,but let’s differentiate, it is different when I am “traveling” to visit a place, someone, country or else),but actually the reason I did not go to this other accountant was that I did not like her.

After a month I realized I need to find another one, because being a freelancer it means having your own company or VAT number so you can provide invoices for your bill. I travelled to London, I have invoices to book and to be honest I have no clue what all else I have to do…plus, I do not want to do the jobs for those I know there are people who are expert in it, so here comes my “managerial” skill, I delegate the task. Yep, it is not free of charge, but it is less stress for me. Of course, I always go for a consultation before, because I need to understand how things work, but I leave it on the experts to do the job. I do this almost on all my fields of my life.

I have a babysitter, sometimes friends to support me with Filip,  maybe once a good childcare. I “delegate” parental tasks, because being a single parent is not an easy job. You are taking care of yourself and about your child, you have to share the responsibilities sometimes among your surrounding so you can survive. I am lucky to have two Dora’s in my life.

One is Dori Filip’s babysitter and the other one is Dora, the belly-dancer as Filip would call her. This  is  how  we differentiate. Dora babysitter is very flexible and responsible even she is 17, when is about Filip, volleyball, friends, school :D. She goes to a school. We agreed on a weekly schedule with her to babysit Filip, because this way she can count on her job/salary and I can accomplish my job related things. some private things or only to go out for a coffee or whatever. Having some kind of schedule gives us the possibility to plan things in our lives. When you have a kid those planned hours are very effective too, but for yourself. She will stay for now anonymous in a certain way, because she will get another topic in my blog 😉

Dori, got stucked on Thursday in Budapest due to snowing, she called me if she can come up as she lives outside of Budapest and the bus transporting agency Volán had difficulties to reach “Telki” (u know this village is one of the most richest ones in Hungary for couple of years now?I). I had worked there with a translating agency, while I was by Raytheon and I visited this village couple of years ago, and soon we will visit with Filip Dori there.

So she called me, i said, come on, it’s not even a question bring yourself here, but I asked her to bring me a coffee as I have no coffee at home and  I was lazy to go out on this snowing, cold weather Thursday and I was also busy doing some linking among my online profiles. She showed up with a bottle of rosé wine and the coffee and with a headache.

After a certain period of time she came up with the idea to make selfies…I said to her these are gonna be  the worst photos ever, but who the f… cares…so we were making selfies, silly faces, smiling, talking, laughing, drinking, smoking and her headache stopped. And then she created this. We look like mopped in the face, but “models” look like this too ;))))

Sometimes I think Dori is the Gabi that I could be with age of 17. Now I am sometimes reliving those ages with her.

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Dora, the belly dance she adores Filip and this is enough for me that I can trust her :)).

She is very busy person and has her English classes usually in the afternoons, however she offered if I need a help with Filip in the early hours I can turn to her. 🙂 I did not yet really used her yet and in general I am hard on asking help even from my friends (I practise it sometimes now), because I know everyone has it’s own problems, but with Dora I do not feel that I will owe her something if I ask her for a help, like with most of the people I feel,but this is something I have to work on too. I trust her and I learned from her a lot in these couple of weeks/months since she came to my life.

She is the person who surprises me or Filip from time to time. This can be discovering something about herself or just a simple present to Filip that will make him happy. Dora is also a fan of Japanese culture, beauty and paintings as she does it on her own too. She likes to make her make-up to look as a Geisha (sometimes I really have the feeling she is), oh and btw. she is also Ambassador of the Japanese Tsunagu group on Facebook. She often expresses herself through paintings, pictures. She is the person who took me for a hand one day and organised programmes for the whole afternoon, for the first time in my life I experienced with a friend. It was so good, not to think about what I will do that afternoon and evening I just let her to guide me and show me the city from her perspective. Dora, thank you for that experience. We have been to a Japanese teashop, where,

well it’s expected to drink a Japanese tea, but I am a coffee drinker in the first row, and Dora just nodded with okay, u take the coffee 😀 …have u ever tried a coffee with green colour? It was awsome experience 🙂

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Drinking Barley tea and Macha latte with Dora at https://www.facebook.com/marumoto.japantea

Last time she brought watercolors to Filip, he was amused with them the whole week, then a stickers, which became “Spagetti’s” for Filip. Sorry Dora, my kid  was just creative. Who said the stickers are only for sticking them in the albums? You can take the scissors from mom and make Spagetti’s out of them.

Dora is very wise and very up-to date in natural beauty stuffs and giving advices, shops, she is a great networker, she is great in knowing the locals in Budapest, musicians, owners and she is a person with a big heart.

I am always afraid for such people, because they got often used by others. Dora, do not misunderstand me, I am talking about my own experiences.

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Dora is not only a friend, sometimes I had the feeling she is like the mom I wished to have, bringing me down to earth, but leaving me a space to decide and do things in my way and accepting whatever I do with understanding.

Yeah, I kinda talk from experience…I like to give and I give with an open heart, but I realized sometimes I am wasting my energy for people who do not deserve it. I am not talking about her. I realized I need also to do a selection and share with the right ones, otherwise it’s a waste of energy.

She is a person I said an advice listens to me, has her opinion, her perspective of things, but we work out/conclude what we feel right for ourselves and she takes into consideration sometimes my advices, and this works vice-versa. I appreaciate her a lot, because I feel to be listened, not because I think I am smarter, nope, it’s about letting the other person to freely express needs, problems, whatever and for such people I also wanna give a helping hand in need.

She is a very free person, but gives too much attention to other people opinion. She is an opinion people think she is crazy, well, I also hear from myself such stories, but I’d rather be crazy,  unique and myself then to please others to be seen as they want to see me and not in a way I am. I am accepting her as she is.

She is a woman I learned from it’s allowed to a man to pay you a drink, without feeling bad about it…I am so bad with this, I’d rather pay for myself or share the bill, while explaining myself that this is for me uncomfortable. In some occasions now I know how to release this, specially now 😀 as my business is still struggling, but most of the time still not, while I like to give when I have.

About giving…I got so many times dissapointed that I am giving (not talking about material things) and it is taken wrong or not even considered as an advice.

As conclusion for myself is, okay, you can still share and try to help, but only to those who are willing to accept. I might invite you or call you or tell you something that I think it could support you, from your respond I will know if I should share things with you further or not.

And nevertheless I learned, first I have to make my things “working” and then helping others. I do share now too, because this is my nature, I just reduce it to a lower level to dedicate that time to work on myself.

And I am very dissapointed in people when from the same people I share things with ask some help (there are exceptions!) I get no response to support me. I rather not ask. And sometimes I just have a fear of asking, because I do not want to overload you with my things.

Coming back to Dora, as i see her, she is a woman I go out to a place and when she does not feel well with the people, place, music or friends, she chooses to leave. But it is also not always about well-being, as far as I understood she also likes to visit more places in one night as she is very interested in everything.

So, it is, another thing  I learned from her. I do not have to stay in the situations I am not feeling comfortable, but also, there are sometimes so many happenings  in the Budapest nights for one evening, that I rather choose to see all of them and not sticking to one place, so I visit all the places I meet old and make new friends, untill I fall down or end up in Fogasház, as the last station.

I asked Dora to drop a line about herself, so please meet her…today I learned about her via her writing that she likes poppy seeds 🙂

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“Hi to All! I’m Gabi’s friend, I’ve been living in Budapest for more than 12 years now and I must say the city still amuses me! As far as my intelligence and skills are concerned I’d be able to live in any part of the world -but any time I decide to leave this country like many others, something always happens. So my friends – including my international friends keep asking me: ‘Why are you still here?!’ For a long time I couldn’t say any proper answer, but these days 3 answers have crystallized in my mind:

(So what keeps me here?)

1. The Budapest underground art – and music life with its eccentric and extremely talented characters

2. My friends – there are approximately 20-30 who I could call my closer friends and simply I wouldn’t enjoy my days without them

3. Poppy seed (well, you may find it ridiculous, but Hungary is almost the only country in Europe where you can produce and eat poppy! I’m addicted to poppy seed cake and anything made with poppy since my childhood, so that can be the reason as well)

Of course I could mention many more answers why my life keeps going on here. On the other hand hand I believe that fate pushes you the direction you need to be. Naturally you have choices and different paths in front of you but you always end up in the place and among the people you need to be.”

And this is the song she is sending to all of you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZK5TC4a088&spfreload=10

***She could tell you much more about herself in person 😉 Meet her! Oh yeah, and I think she is TOO much tolerant with some of her friends….

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I started with writing about delegating tasks, I ended up with Dora…the other topic i will keep on writing some other time….

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