Do you believe every name had a higher meaning? I kinda started to observe what the names mean and I have to say this one fits to my friend so much.
Here is a playlist of the songs I created for healing my soul:
Do you believe every name had a higher meaning? I kinda started to observe what the names mean and I have to say this one fits to my friend so much.
Here is a playlist of the songs I created for healing my soul:
Hi Inés 🙂
finally you did it!
I have to admit I really do believe they exist and we will find them, they are all around us, we just always notice the “wrong” ones, but it’s because we always choose the “same patterns”, untill we learn the lesson too and that’s first love your self to be able to love others.
Stay honest to your feelings and the one who is honest with his feelings will find u! I believe in this!
I realized each of them thought me something about myself, I do not regret any of the contacts I had in my life.
And btw Redbull – Vodka shot, it’s really great combination for a shot, but why not to consume it as a coctail sometimes :)))
If you are for a hug, list me next to the Teddy bar 😉 I mean bear 😀
I am sending you a virtual hug right now.
See u tomorrow!
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something deep inside of me does not allow me to give in…
I posted all over my social network and really looked for him, the last day after the singing session with János something happened to me,
I spent more hours in the night by looking for different signs via my social networks to find him, in the end I came to a conclusion who are those 8 people like the sides of the pyramide that are currently my greatest helper on this spiritual path called life. One of them still did not fit in fully in the picture, but the night I spent calculating and looking for different sides, i just followed my intuition, clicking on the posts that were just opening in front of me, and my confusion was even bigger and bigger, but I was getting so clear signs were getting more clear and clear that missing friend is the last person in the chain who will help me to find Nicolas, Nicola, Nicolau, who the hell knows how he spells his name.
While I was looking for Nicola I was so many time in doubts about the things he said, but I know he lied me few things , because he wanted me to like him. I think he is an internship student in Genova or Geneva, Budapest…well who the f… cares anymore.
As conclusion from this I realized, what I learned from him, if I want someone for a friend=boyfriend=man in my life I am not questioning anymore if he is lying to me or not.
I have to trust that every single word he told me it was true, I cannot tolerate that someone lies me just to be liked, just as I cannot be tolerated for the same, as it would mean again playing some games and not being honest with ourselves, with the “friend” and those relationships are not taking us anywhere, we get trapped in our past behaviours. We meet people to grow in recognising ourself. My self.
Today I said to myself I cannot “not trust” him, because it would mean I did not grow in this relationship/situation. If he lied, yes, I can be hurt, but at least I know I approached him as all of my friends and I can reassure him there was no need to lie, I just liked him the way he was. I wanna tell him I do not question anymore the things my friends tell me, so I do not wanna question the things boyfriends, one night stand people, collegues, ex-collegues, street cleaner, DJ, singer, mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, girlfriend, etc say. I trust that they are trusting me too.
I stated many times I stopped searching for him, but it is to stressfull not to do it, and it is stressfull not to miss great friendships in the meantime.
I decided today to let go, but also not to let go.
Each time I will remember him I will write about this guy and look for him till I find him, because even he is maybe not the right, I want to talk to him about this.
And I want to find that one person who gave me the feelings he gave me. I will cry him out and hopefully again a piece of my heart and soul will open up. This song is the one that couple of days Filip made cry and now I am crying out and letting go, for some time…and hope to see u once again, till then lets gain as much as experience and come back to each other when we are ready, if it’s ment…
You have no clue what a great therapy is singing, when u have the greatest master for it.
Till then please feel free to join my public friends community on Facebook, follow my latest photoshooting, shooting jobs, singing, Samba performance soon etc…..and PLEASED TO MEET YOU IN THE GROUP!
I will post here the idea of the community:
We are a community bringing together people in our lovely city Budapest.
We will post here concerts, free jammings, events, photoshooting events, parties in Budapest.
We are Yin-Yang, good and bad.
Stock photo models, Catwalk models,
We are plus sized, we are skinny,
We are happy, we are sad,
We cry, we laugh,
We are black and white,
We are old and young
Business man and business woman
Politicians or the people.
Couchsurfers, fancy hotel liking people,
Add whatever you feel like adding to this list.And let’s see what can we create together?!
Maybe some jamming outdoors, indoors, dinners organising, offer your empty flat, studio, post your concert, shout for a help with languages,find models, band, singer, photographer, offer a place in your car when travelling, street jamming abroad, place/couch to stay in Budapest or abroad. U never know what the other person knows. We are from all over the world.
I was really not in a mood to write for couple of days and actually I was cut off from Internet of Phone services or my phone just went flat very quickly, I do use my phone a lot for uploads, but I realized if I want to upload a video which is long and I have no Wi-fi access, seems like my phone gets very quickly flat, probably by searching for a network, but actually I do not get why it doesn’t use then my regular package for telecommunication services where I have some internet credits too, though it is possible that it cannot handle a videos longer then 20 sec, as I have the very basic package, or I just used all my credits? I do not know, but it’s not important actually, as I can do it from home through wi-fi (now it works okay).
Today was amazing day again.
A recent met friend invited me for a free of charge singing classes, with this I met new 2 person in my life and I went to the place with 2 recently met friend in my life. Actually, the people I was with today were more then that and while walking back home from Corvin square where I said good-bye to my friends and told them I wanna walk home with my feelings and thoughts (Jeff Foster, u are using these 3 words all the time, btw u are my unknown friend too).
While I was walking I was facing the universe.
I saw how my mind is labeling the people in the street, this one could be a Swedish person, this one a Chinese, this one could be Turkish, this one could be Spanish…I just let my thoughts flow. Sometimes I have the feeling I recognise in the people their previous lives or just simply I see in them all the nations, this can be some of their facial, behavioural, emotional, the way of dressing, characteristics reminds me to some other nations even they have their FACE that labels them to belong to one nation. It’s like I have insight in their soul.
I feel so weird for saying these things and actually I would love to see some of the peoples facial expressions reading this and maybe even thinking I am high or drunk, or just simply crazy, but on the other hand I do not mind that much about that, because this is what I feel in any person I meet for the first time.
Quite often I meet someone I ask them about their nationality based on the first impression, sometimes I miss it, but mostly i don’t.
I asked him also, are you Turkish? He replied, no, I am Italian, but later adding actually both parents Brazilians. So, I missed it. That’s good, because I thought I know him, but i did not.
Or the Turkish guy yesterday in Ötkert, he looked like Arabian, but had an accent of a Turkish person, however I concluded he is Turkish.
Or the Serbians in Viking yesterday after we finished the photoshooting, girls do you remember?
Inés, what did you comment on me there? Something like, dont worry she is doing this all the time, and u added something negative about me :)) I laughed on you, because, I really approach people with this question often. I find it funny to shock people.
Okay, so we arrived to the singing class and a kinda grey-long haired guy in a tale greated us.
When I first met him, I felt nothing, except that he was talking Hungarian. I realized this only now.
As we started to listen to those child songs, he let out his voice and musicality I got goose bumps.
Each song reminded me on one of the important stages of my life, and actually couple of minutes ago all the song got cristalized in front of me. While we were singing those kids songs.
At the first song I cried,
It reminded me on being a baby, coming to the world, my fear of being rejected by parents. Sorry, mom and dad, I felt rejected whole my life by you. And I feel rejected still by my whole family. But, it is okay. I cannot judge you at all. You all feel/you felt the same, I know. And I am so afraid that my son does not feel rejected by me and his father each day, because we are separated and different. While I know this was the best decision, we got new chances in our lives and I hope we are raising the greatest kid ever.
It reminded me how I was afraid to give a natural birth to my son, I was rejecting him too.
It reminded me on my mom. It reminded me on my roots. Mom, do we have some Gipsy blood in our family? Grandma’s surname is Berta. Mom, it reminded me on your dream country America. I think we have ancient Indian blood.
The song is about an Indian girl, somehow my mind just correlated to the rejected Indians in America or the Gipsys in Hungary and sometimes in Serbia too.
My moms name is Iren, analysing her name, it comes from Greek and means “Peace” I never had.
The second song reminded me on my family, whether it was about my parents or my first husband. I do not want to express anything, just listen to the lyrics of the song once I get the permission from the teacher, I must share these with my people. It reminded me on Serbia and Hungary. On the acceptance and the rejection I felt in both country being labeled as Hungarian or Serbian. It reminded me on my father, I wanted to fulfill his dreams. I became director and well payed manager, something he always regreted he could not achieve, he was regreting he had no chance to finish a better school, but he was always attached to the place he was born, afraid of changing safety for an insecure place. I can rememeber another person in my life about this.
I was afraid of his rejection, I was afraid of my ex-husbands rejection I wanted to prove them I can do it instead of them. I was afraid if I do not achieve those things I will be rejected. I got rejected anyways. And I will be rejected yet many times. Both of them are stubborn and I recognise these in me too.
My fathers name is Josef and ex-husband both focused on wealth and increase.
My future teacher, I am crying again, thank you for letting me to open my soul and you friends who accepted me crying there. I cry out now alone all those things I was still not ready to do there, sometimes it is okay to stay alone with your pain.
The third song, brought me a silence. In the past months I felt I met the one. I felt I met myself. I felt I met the right place to live.
Everything was/is here where I am.
I felt I found the right one in Nicolas, but he could not believe I am standing in front of him, just as I could not believe he is standing in front of me. Even I lost him I feel peace and I feel him very often and I feel we will meet again.
His name means people’s Victory. My Victory.
It reminded me that I can find jobs from here to work abroad too. It reminded me that there are no limits. It reminded be to be even more open on every nation, every location, every people in the world, every job, every song….
This is why I am trying out new places, new concerts, “consuming” new guys, finding new friends, keeping the right ones, I am breaking my limits, but being honest to my needs and I am experimenting with life. I am trying out new things and I am picking from everything those things that suit me the most, not limiting to a single religion, language, country, culture, race, cooking recipes, guys, sexual preferences, arts…but still within my limits 😉
The fourth song I think is in a first row about you. You opened in me the Universe, I am afraid to note this down, because I might seem foolish??
Today, you reminded me on joy and happiness, on my friends, my present, to my life with all the people that are in my life, whether it’s my life, career, relationship with all the goods and bads, like my Yin Yang piercing :D.
Your name means defender of the man. You showed me I do not have to defend from man anymore.
I am the whole Universe through everything I experience, I cannot differentiate anything by country, language, race, skin color, hair color, profession…It’s the song of my life flow, just letting off everything and and going with the flow, whatever it bring, good or bad, I need to grow yet on every field of my life. While walking home I was observing and memorising all the things I experienced.
The fifth song, friend who came into my life on NYE, it reminded me on my French – Arabian friend Inés (even the culturally you are present in the song, Inés I will shoot myself, what is gonna be the next surprise and coincidence u will give me?) , who is present now in my present. I never met a friend like you before! Whatever happens you will be always another piece of my heart and life.
Name of Inés means “pure” and “holly”. You are reflecting me onto it.
It reminded me on all of you who are among my friend what ever experience I have with you, because nothing is coinsidence.
And it reminded me to be my own friend with showing and sharing all the feelings and thoughts and not to judge myself because of being myself.
Salute and have a great time in Eger!
the 6th song at the teachers place made me cry again. It reminded me on my son.
Filips name means: lover of horses. In Chinese Horoscope thats my sign. Filips sign is rabbit.
It reminded me to stay a child in this world, to be accepting like Filip accepts me with all my stupidities and with all the good and bad experiences he will experience in this world with us with everything.
I am missing the 7th…i think there is a 7th song too…
btw Black and white yin-yang symbol in my symbol in Feng shui, u remember for the weekend i was struggling to put it in my nose…
As I was walking home from Corvin square not having my BKV ticket with 0 Forints in my pocket I was thinking about the whole day experiences,
I laughed, I cried,
I was sad, I was happy,
I was suspicios and trustfull,
I talked to myself, I was calm,
I behaved bad, I behaved good,
I was hugged and I was hugging my own pain,
I thought I could never sing Indian “song”, I realized I can,
I felt being accepted, I felt being rejected,
I felt being Serbo-Hungarian 🙂 and I felt being everything else,
I cried from sadness and I cried from happiness,
I felt being confused and I felt being clear with things,
I felt being a kid, and I felt I do not wanna feel being a grown-up,
I felt to be a mom, and I felt being a kid,
I felt being a wife and I divorced,
I felt being a party animal, and I felt being a person sitting at home relaxing and writing its blog,
I felt being showing an example and I felt being bad example,
I felt being lazy and carring,
I felt being stressed and relaxed,
I felt having a pain because of having a heavy life and I felt being lucky to enjoy the ease of life,
I felt being bad listener and I felt being a good listener,
I felt being rule breaker and I felt being a rule follower,
I felt being determined to walk home by foot and I felt being lazy so I took the easier way risking to be punished for not having even a BKV ticket,
I felt being loved by my family and not loved and so on…….
but TEACHER, nobody ever told me so clearly that I am special, blessed, sensitive and I promise with the first occasion I will come for your classes, now this is one of my biggest goal, to come to your singing classes!
Silence is sometimes better, then any marketing activity.
You are all special too!
And tomorrow I will listen to these songs with my son. He will be so much into it, the best combination.
Cartoons with lyrics and songs, we can practise together till we meet, probably in 3. He is special too!
And I will break one more time my promise.
I will send this post via Facebook message to all of my friends, acquitances, relatives, family members, collegues, ex-collegues etc….
I am appologizing in advance if I was disturbing you with my mail. I wanted to share this with all of you.
The title is empty as I do not know what title could I add to this.
I leave it on WordPress to add whatever it will add….
oh and now as someone who did a good job I will light a cigarette and drink my coffee and Inés, I made an Earl grey tea for myself too (i have to say it will wait for you here to drink it :))))
Jorge, maybe this will help u?!
We are very much into finding new websites around the world wide web that offer new ways of getting things done, and offer a highly visual experience, and referring our readers to go and check out the websites for themselves. Another passion we hold close to our hearts is music, and especially playing guitar. So when we found a website that is not only a very detailed visual experience but offers guitar tablature in a very collected and superior way — compared to the many places to find guitar tabs on the web — we had to share it with others who love guitar and are constantly searching for guitar tabs.
Jellynote is not like any other guitar tab site we have ever seen before; it is built off of a social community idea that allows users to not only create and share guitar tabs easily, but…
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Thank you for the follow!!!
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btw…i ordered the robot for Filip today, because he is so much into it…so we will wait for it untill “wish” delivers it via their freight company…we will have to wait one month though, but the happiness will be big for sure 😉
the price got reduced to 5 Dollars…
it’s gonna be a long post again, get prepared 😀
at some time last year before Xmas we went with Filip to a Libri bookstore to browse around the books and he got a book called Alfa, the robot,since then he got in love with robots, it was his choice and it became his favourite book…
at some later stage he expressed his will to have a robot like the one in the book…we settled down and
For Christmas Filip wished to have a robot, we started to look for it on the internet and found one very similar, some stock photo was uploaded to the internet, I was like, ouch, Filip I am not sure I can find the exact one, but I will try for sure, in couple of minutes later I FOUND IT, omg how happy I was, an he as well!!!!
I ordered it and they…
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Crazy day again, no phone, no internet (T-Home I still had no time to ask what happened with the service today), modeling for a photographer with Filip, running home, meeting the babysitter, cooking meal, putting Filip to sleep to go to Kockabirodalom, Filip crying as he is tired and not willing to go, discussing with the babysitter not to take it personally that Filip is now not in the mood as he is tired too, missing a casting for the 3rd time, getting stressed about it at 6pm, messaging the agency for not arriving and for forgetting to reach the casting place and then I died, I could not make at further, I had to sleep an hour, then dinner making, bathing Filip, Dora washing the dishes, I am making cacao milk for Filip, Dora mixing joghurt with jam for us, saying Good-bye to Dora, putting Filip to sleep, singing a good night song, Filip asking for a kiss before sleep, Filip asking for a hug before a sleep and then saying: Mom, you can go now. I made my tea.
Thank you my son, I can take a rest, my Internet works again, so I can work on my blog.
And tomorrow starts the whole thing again…and I have to fit in some party too 😉
I really need someone to train about WordPress, I have no time to read/watch the instructions how to use it,so I will be never expert in using WordPress, or at least for now, it has so many options… 😦
In December I played a winning game for “Kockabirodalom Kiállitás” on Facebook that was organised in “Vam Design Center” in Király street – in translation this exhibition was about cubicle toys for kids (I mean this is what I assume, I had no time to check in details, so I relied on going there and just experience the whole exhibition).
Filip is now 3,5 year old and he likes to build with cubicles, I know he has a big basket of cubicles by his dad and they build from time to time, but I am also adding Filip mostly plays with small pieces of the Lego collection, specially with those u know, where its written not to…
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