Monthly Archives: October 2017

s ezek magyar pasik voltak…

Standard

Amíg beértem a cégbe két kellemes dolog is történt velem, olyan dolgok amelyek mellett sokszor talán elmegyünk és nem vesszük észre, mert olyan természetesnek tűnnek, nekem is most már és nem így volt mindig.

…mi lenne ha észrevennénk a jó dolgokat is, melyeket a magyar pasik csinálnak, ne csak szapuljuk őket állandóan (persze akad bőven olyan akit lehet, de ma úgy döntöttem, hogy csak azért sem).

El kell mondjam, hogy mikor Magyarországra költöztem sokszor zavarba jöttem, ha ajtót nyitottak a férfiak és előre engedtek, néha még zavart is, hogy ennyire kedvesek velem, s odaszóltam, hogy tessék menni, mögötte is betudok jutni,  s morcosan haladtam utánnuk be az ajtón, mint akit megakadályoztak a bejutásban a saját tempójában (valójában igen, mert az én értelmem szerint aki először az ajtóhoz ért, az jut be) de utólag rákellett jönnöm, hogy ezek jó dolgok és ők csak udvariassak és jól neveltek.

És hogy miért is írtam pont most ezeket? Két eset fél óra leforgása alatt szebbé tette a napom kezdetét két magyar pasi is, majd egy indiai kolléga is csatlakozott ehhez.

Munkába menet reggel a villamoson szembejött velem egy pasi és az ülések közötti könnyebb áthaladás végett előre szeretett volna engedni, de tekintetemmel jeleztem, hogy most én szeretnék udvarias lenni és őt előre engedni, valójában megint spontán előjött belőlem a balkáni szellemem, de kivételesen nem lettem morcos ettől, s bár végül ő haladt át előbb, értékeltem a gesztusát.

A reggelim megvételekor, a Corvin sétány Mlinarjában (horvát pékséglánc)  előttem behaladt az üzletbe egy nagyon jóképű magyar férfi. Csodáltam is, hogy egyáltalán észrevettem, amilyen vak és süket szoktam reggelente lenni, de többek között azért, mert tuti, hogy zenét hallgatok, valahogy így:

Visszatérve az előző story-ra….

Amikor azt gondoltam nem is léteztem számára, az eladó megszólította, ő felém fordult, s azt mondta: Hölgyem? Ezzel tudatomra adva, hogy ő is előre enged. Most éltem a helyzettel, majd a meglepettség érzésével távoztam a Mlinarból. Azon gondolkodtam, hogy valójában jó volt a kisugárzása is ennek a pasinak,  valamilyen nyugalmat árasztott.

Hozzáteszem, sikerült talán a legszárazabb sonkás croissantos szendvicset megkapni, pedig az eladó szépen kérdezte, hogy megmelegítse-e?! Már tudom, hogy miért kérdezte (ebédig ezt fogom rágni olyan száraz)

No de, beértem a cégbe, a beléptető kapun áthaladva odaköszöntem a portásnak, hogy jó reggelt, míg azon morogtam magamban, hogy az előttem behaladt indiai kolléga miért nem köszönt neki (Gabi és a reggeli morcosság), majd hívtuk a liftet, kinyílt az ajtó, addigra már 4-en álltunk a liftnél. A két magyar férfi kollégám meg sem kisérelte a beszállást előttem, teljesen természetes volt testbeszédükből, hogy észrevettek és előre engednek, az indiai picit toporzékolt, de könnyítettem helyzetén, s beszálltam előtte.

Érdekesek ezek a kulturális különbségek és szeretem őket megszemlélni, észrevenni ahogyan asszimilálódnak az emberek és felveszik a társadalom viselkedését, nyilván rám is kihatott egy csomó dolog amióta itt élek. Többek között az, hogy Szerbiában észreveszem, ha nem engednek be a férfiak maguk előtt az ajtón, s azon morgok! 😀 😀

No de ennyit erről: Szép napot!

***szerintem ezzel a blogposzt címmel legalább 100 klikket elfogok ma érni és te is hozzájárultál ehhez! 🙂 köszi!

 

Advertisements
Aside

….NE AMIKOR MÁR KÉSŐ LESZ

 

Most szeress, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most ölelj, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most légy velem, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most fogd meg két kezem, ne amikor már késő lesz.

 

Ne gondold túl,

nem hozzád való.

Simulj hozzám,

nem hozzád való.

 

Érzem, ahogy szíveink együtt lüktetnek,

egymásban lelkeink megpihennek,

mosolyoddal felvidítassz,

életemnek új értelmet adsz.

 

Most szeress, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most ölelj, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most légy velem, ne amikor már késő lesz,

most fogd meg két kezem, ne amikor már késő lesz.

…ne amikor már késő lesz

Mikor arcoddal arcomhoz simultál…

Standard

Mikor arcoddal arcomhoz simultál,

Két kezeddel, s testeddel körbefontál,

Egy más dimenzióba repítettél,

Szeretettel és melegséggel feltöltöttél.

Én is élveztem találkozásunk minden pillanatát,

Minden egyes szavad, melyekkel megszólítottál.

Éreztem, hogy együtt lüktetnek és tombolnak bennünk az érzelmek,

Nem engehettük meg, hogy felszínre törjenek.

Jó érzés volt téged megérinteni,

a zenére veled együtt táncolni.

Zavarodottságodban erősen kerülted tekintetem.

“Miért nem nézel a szemembe?” – kérdeztem.

Összeszedted minden bátorságod, feltekintettél: “Miért gondolod, hogy nem merek a szemedbe nézni?”

Ezzel a kérdéssel engem leptél meg.

Bátorságom és magabiztosságom itt inalt el.

Emlékezetembe vésem ezeket az érzelmeket, melyeket te adtál.

Gondolatban csókjaiddal elárasztottál.

Olyan jó volt hozzád simulni,

Gondolatban kettőnkröl álmodozni.

********

Az egész találkozás olyan érzéki volt, mint ez a brazil dal:

Do you also have such “friends”?

Standard

The ones that behave nice with you, they introduce you to their friends, family members saying: oh Gabi, she is so great person and cool and amazing…all those nice things…and then you realize from her actions (non-actions to get to know you or build a relationship) – how fake she is, because behind your back she talks and works against you. I had couple of times strange situations because of this girl, but I was always thinking I am overreacting, the last time it was this weekend.

Some month ago, I started to like a person I met on a dating site. It turned out he knows one of my so called “friends” and I shared with her also how I met her acquitance on the dating site. I had a nice talk with this stranger and I told him we have a common friend. The common “friend” is the above girl I know for longer period of time. I always felt something is wrong in our relationship with her.

He planned a trip right at that moment so we have not met back then.

………………..

I found out he met this “girl friend” of mine and after he never wrote me again. He started to date another girl, a sister of my “friend”. I was not upset as I did not know about them and I honestly forgot about him, till this weekend when finally I met him face to face with his girlfriend.

From another girl I found out, he liked me, but the so called “friend” of mine was very enthusiastic to have her sister reserved for this guy.  What a soap opera story, right?

I only smiled at this situation and said to myself, it was not ment for us to meet earlier and actually it is my luck that we did not get into more deeper connection and feelings (this is also what my friend Adrienn said, hugs to you for that Adrienn! And I am adding: it is his loss 🙂

But, coming back to the “friend girl”, I think I finally realized how toxic she is for me. She is a kind of person that surrounds herself with many people and loves to be seen as the kind person, helpful and great friend (and in a way I believed too).

What I understood from her earlier actions too: she behaves protective with the guys from her country (the jelaous mama type), but actualy she has no deep connection with people around herself and hey! she is choosing boyfriends/girlfriends to her sister, to her friends/guys??

Now what kind of guy is that who does not go after his own experience, but listens to others what is good for him? That guy is definitely not for me, and about her:

She was a friend on a surface and I was naive for keeping her till now in my life. From today one person is out of my life and I am giving a space to a person with honest and real intentions of making a friendship.

Yes, it is hard to let go when you think they were friend to you.  I should have been looked at her actions much earlier and let her go long time ago.

Look around yourself, do you have someone similar in your surrounding?

And here’a a beautiful song for you from Brazil, of course!

Nem működik a céges laptopom, telefonról írok, mert ezt…

Standard

Ki kell írjam magamból, mert sohasem tudom ezt veled megbeszélni, valójában már rég feladtam, hogy bármit is megtudok veled értetni, de ahogy látod, újból és újból probálkozom…

Miért van az, hogy még mindig félek tőled, s megakarok felelni neked;
…hogy félnem kell döntéseimre, cselekedeteimre hogyan fogsz reagálni..

Miért van, az hogy soha semmiben sem látod meg a jót?
Miért van az, hogy egy kedves ember álarcát viseled majd valóságos szörnyetegé tudsz változni?
Vidám, kedves ember mondják reád.
Igen, de nem amikor rólam van szó, olyan dacos dühös emberré változol, mintha én lennék életed legnagyobb kudarca.

Gyűlölöm, hogy sohase mondhatom el igazi gondolataim, véleményeim, mert nállad más véleménye kuka, csak az számít amit te mondasz és gondolsz!

Nem tisztelsz, sosem tetted.
Nincs olyan cselekedetem, amely téged boldoggá tudna tenni.

Nem értékeled az embereket körülötted, csak magaddal vagy elfoglalva, csak neked van igazad.

Sajnálom, hogy ilyen elkeseredett ember vagy, tudom, hogy nehéz gyerekkorod volt, de ez nem az én hibám.

Én is hordozom a keresztem és sokszor nem szólok, mert rég megtanultam, hogy nem számíthatok rád, mert sosem fogsz megérteni, elfogadni, esetleg elgondolkodni az én, de akár a többi ember helyzetén és kapcsolataidon velük, mert ez téged sosem érdekelt.

Törhetetlen az egód, pedig nem vagy bölcs és fogalmad sincs arról, hogy megbántod az embereket magad körül.

Engem is meggyötört az élet, hidd el, jobban mint gondolnád, nem véletlen kerültem a pszihiátriára, túl sok volt az az ember körülöttem aki felszínes volt velem és valójában nem is érdekelte őket valódi énem, olyan dolgokkal foglalkoztam melyek nem érdekeltek, de a megfelelési vágy késztetett. Egy új de mégsem új énem akartam felvállalni, de sajnos sok az irigy és megvető ember.

Minden negatív tapasztalatom, élethelyzetem ellenére, igyekszem elfogadni embereket a hibáikkal együtt, mert senki sem tökéletes én sem, s nem is baj..

Remélem kevesen vagytok, akik ugyanígy éreztek!

……………………….

De TE, még mindig hasba tudsz döfni…mindig azt mondom magamban, sajnos talán nem is tehetsz róla, hogy ilyen vagy…

I keep track on my invested work…

Standard
I keep track on my invested work…

…this way I can see what steps I made and at the end of the day I won’t have the feeling that I have not accomplished anything.

So I did a quick search on some agencies today and messaged with introduction mail the following agencies:

http://www.stellamodels.com/ Austria

http://www.lookformodels.at/ Austria

http://www.characters-models.com/ Spain

http://www.bialymodels.com/ Poland? Thailand?

Contacted: http://friendlyfire.at/ with a nice introduction mail – Friendly Fire is a 3D Concept and Production House in Vienna – I asked them for an advice which casting agencies to contact. Maybe it is better if someone else tells me, so I save on the time to investigate. But, let’s see if they will reply.

Anyone has an experience with an Austrian character/senior modeling agency that works with internationals?

I will continue applying at Austrian agencies, as Vienna is close for jobs.

******************************************

Now we are off with Filip for the Music Expo.

And here is a song for today too, which is very different from the songs I usually post, and yes, it is also from Brazil. Brazil is not only about Bossa Nova, Samba…

I find this band a bit strange, maybe that is why I like them. 🙂

I am progressing in my Portuguese, e.g. I know whats the meaning of the bands name and songs title:

Banda do Mar – the band from the sea

Mais Ninguém – nobody else

 

 

I lack time….

Standard

I am in constant lack with time, but really, I have the feeling if day was about 48 hours I would still need more to do everything I want.

Before I continue, at the bottom is a Brazilian song, click and listen to it while reading 🙂 only to stay consistent to myself, in each blog post I will have one new MPB song. This one is specifically glad to me, as I find Vanessa da Mata as one of the icons of the Brazilian music scene. Watch the way she sings, her movements are full of elegance! If you scroll lower, do not forget to come back here and read further! 🙂

Related to my music and modeling things, as said in my yesterday’s post, I have a goal and that is to register to 5 agencies per day. When today I started writing this blog post, I thought first to register to databases of agencies that liked or commented my photos on Instagram, but most of them are quite far from me, so I decided to take on my list registration to Austrian agencies. I googled Austrian casting and modeling agencies and in the upcoming days I’ll do registration by them.

Today I did the following things for the modeling things:

  • Checked jobs on https://globalmodelsinc.com – one job was interesting, but it is only for premium users and if I’ll do an upgrade in some of my profiles it will be on Model Management (a post from yesterday: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/once-i-gave-it-up-or-just-took-a-break/) the rest of the jobs were not interesting.
  • I went for a casting by Hollywood casting, it was a textual one, and it is for a “Széchényi terv” project fund. I would not say I nailed it, I was not focused enough! There is so much going on in my head, I need to learn to control this!
  • On a way there I made this selfie…
  • Responded to Instagram comments. If you have one, you need to engage with people from the industry, you never know what connection a message will bring
  • registered to an Austrian agency: https://www.prestige-modelmanagement.com
  • sent mail to another Austrian agency: http://www.stellamodels.com
  • I have updated my profile on e-talenta (an online portfolio) and sent 2 intro letters to 2 Hungarian casting directors and to 9 Serbians (I am fluent in Serbian) via the site as it allows you to send personal messages. It is a new discovery for me and I find it great!
  • Messaged 2 photographers for a TF photoshooting, one is probably arranged for mid of November! 🙂
  • Registered to http://www.latitudetalent.com from New York as I got a follow on my Instagram from them – I do not think they will invite me for any job, as this profession requires you to be on the market, but I just felt like doing it. Of course, if you are beginning in the industry in Hungary, probably you will start with your registration in Hungarian agencies. I am registered at most, but I get the most job calls from Hollywood casting agency. You can find a list of casting agencies in my earlier post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2015/12/15/casting-agencies-hungary/ I made this post long time ago, but the list at the bottom of the blog post contains the majority of the agencies.
  • I have registered to a webpage http://www.62models.com – the agency is from New Zealand, quite far and again maybe pointless, but at least they have my contacts, maybe some of you will go there and at least you have the information about their existance!
  • I bumped into a website of Later Media – http://www.later.com, they seem to have good tips for using Instagram and I downloaded a free guide to read called “Instagram for Business strategy guide”. Lets see how I can use it for myself.
  • Had a quick glance on the site: https://join.ftcpublications.com/congratulations/how-to-apply/ To this page you need an invitation to apply, I need to investigate on them a bit more.

For my music I did the following:

  • Listened to this song below “Acreditar” for at least 100 times, I can sing already the refrain with a big confidence, so it is on my priority list of performing it too!

…tomorrow I am going for the Music Expo! I hope to see many cool things there!

PLUS, I wrote this post…

once I gave it up or just took a break?

Standard

this modeling, acting, music thing…before you continue, scroll down, put on the music, I promise you a nice melodic song this time 🙂

in each of my blog post I will give you some insight into Brazilian MPB, trust me it is worth of clicking on the music and sooner or later I will start posting my own cover recordings 🙂 I am working on that too!

So, if the music is on, you can continue reading here:

the more I try to convince myself I should do only a “normal” regular job, my gut and heart shouts, YOU are again neglecting what you really like doing.

Have you had this feeling? Do you have some secret profession, you do not believe you could do, because this naughty voice is talking in your head?

I do this neglecting so successfully that I almost convinced myself modeling is not for me at all and I successfully pushed it to the back of my mind for the last 1, 5 year –  doing some shootings only for fun.

One of the reasons for that was, as I had difficulties getting modeling jobs,  I did not know much about the industry, about Hungarian agencies, later I was also upset how much the entertainment industry in Hungary uses people, then I realized this is the “curse” of this industry and you need to filter who you work with, step out for yourself and sooner or later, hopefully, those “bad” ones will disappear and good one appear.

One of my favourite photos is this one – the photo has its story, but some other time about that:

11824971_1650118378556984_5960961001005898421_n

To defend myself in front of myself too, I had to accept anyone starting from zero in any branch would have difficulties, plus here comes the fact: at MY age in this industry, Hungary is not the best place for beginning, but not impossible. Like every other job you need to invest into yourself and into learning new skills (learning how to pose is also a skill that not comes naturally to everyone). You really need to be persistent, and this industry really requires you to be a fighter, listener, observer and good networker, I think more than in any other industries.

All these things with modeling and singing for me started unfolding about 4 years ago. I still try to understand how could I suppress it for so long. In my childhood I dreamed of being famous, I wanted to become an actress, leaving a print foot behind when I die (I am weird even to myself for these thoughts).

At age of 18 I was stopped by an agent on Ferenciek tere in Budapest to register with her in an agency for modeling. Can you imagine remembering something like this for 20 years and doing nothing about it? I even commented in myself, me??? Look at me how I look! Still, if this I can recall so well, the way I am holding the business card in my hand on Ferenciek, there must have been something about it, I just did not believe into myself. I know how low my self-esteem was. It is low even now 🙂 apparently it does not seem so when you meet me in person and the way I expose myself now. :))) As teenager I thought of myself as a no chance model category and in this belief I did not even think it further.

I guess, it was ment to happen like that, to forget about the agent above I am telling to myself maybe the person I met was a scam or I needed other things to learn in my life to come here where I am now. If I look back, I can say I have my brick settled into the walls of Budapest with my history here too, DEFINITELY.

Anyway, ever since I started to do music, modeling, acting I tried to fit into my life to go for castings each time I get a call and I am interested into the job. I have a casting end of this week too for a local commercial, though now an sick-leave, hopefully I will be able to make it.

Even nowadays I am questioning if I am good enough for singing, modeling, so if you are in the same shoes, I understand you. I am obviously not in this age range of 14-22, I also think there are markets where my look is more easy to sell (e.g. I got a casting call by an agency to Malaysia, Japan if I am around, even! Ford China responded to visit them if I am around, I tagged them in some of my post and they responded). The true is, I am tied in a way to Budapest because of Filip and his father, we would never be able to give up on him, but I also know I need to go and do my things, it is an example I need to give to him, I just need to find the proper way so he is still included in my life. It is something that is always on my mind as if you are following me and know me you know what hard times this gives me.

So what else to do then? Sit and read how to do it from here for now, make it step by step even it is maybe the harder way and whatever comes we will cope with it.

Today I did the following, as first steps:

I am registered on a modeling platform: https://www.modelmanagement.com/model/gabriella-karvk/ so I am able to apply for modeling jobs in Hungary, but mostly abroad, the page is for some reason less used in Hungary.  With a free registration on this site you have only 2 casting application possibilities per month. I did got selected already for jobs even with these 2 casting application possibilities. I applied for a job on Model Management in Valencia and one in Köln.

I used to be a premium member and I am considering to pay off again for a yearly based membership which allows me to apply unlimited, I can connect my Instagram etc. – read about it on the page if you are more interested – but I did some investment this month into my music equipment finally (buying a microphone) so I might delay the membership paying or not, I will see, as in a way it can bring me jobs, I might do savings on something else.

I started to follow what agencies, people are following my Instagram profile (check right side of my blog) and registering to modeling sites when I see a “like” from them. I do not care if it is an agency that hires youngsters or not, I take my time to make my input on the pages and submit.

Todays target:

I am registering online to minimum 5 agencies, these two I already registered to:

http://www.eastwestmodels.de/

http://agenciaaire.es/ – they contacted me via Model Management to register to their database for a possible casting, if you speak Spanish fill in, otherwise contact them via email. I hope I will get some feedback.

Of course, this way is much harder, specially as I am not in the market where I am applying, but since I had traveling modeling jobs, I think there are chances for more…

Now I am off to do those spaghetti for lunch (Filip asked them for dinner) and later continue applying…

If you are interested in more agency sites I will apply to, engage with me here and let me know! We can do it together!

I am also accepting advises from you!

If there is a modeling agency you know it is hiring traveling models, let me know, obrigada!

I found a great tutorial for basic Samba Pé steps!

Standard

On Saturday I was with friends in House bar as it was a Brazilian party and a Buda Bloco concert hosted there, I have not been to one for long time!

There is no Brazilian party without Samba, right? And I am always happy to pull out  – as I usually SAY – my basic Samba dance knowledge.

I am not taking classes near for a year now and since yesterday I started to consider to get back to it again. The music makes me to move and I always conclude it’s one of the greatest dances, though I do not know how I will fit it in with yoga.

When I dance Samba, due to its intensity I feel it as I am doing sports. I know I am clumsy for complicated choreographies,  but I am not giving up. You should see me, what struggles I have when I need to learn a new step or choreography! :)))

However, last night a song started and in a moment I realized the people I was with stopped, being in awe, stared down at my feet and asked me: how am I doing that?? I do not think I am THAT good at all (BUT THANK YOU, it was nice feeling! 🙂

I am not taking classes near for a year now and since yesterday I started to consider to get back to it again. The music makes me to move and it’s one of the greatest dances, my interest in the Brazilian music started with Samba, maybe I mentioned this in some of my old posts.

However, I got good basic class education from different instructors in the past and I feel those basic steps now flowing naturally. Samba in winter time becomes my street warming up activity, you can find me dancing and singing while waiting for the public transport, some people might think I am crazy or others compliment me. Today it was the song from Roberta Sá “Samba de um minuto”. My new fav’ song I am learning the LETRÁS (lyrics) of it. It is really hard to sing that song, but the bigger the challenge the more I am targeted!

I arrived home, opened YouTube and looked for Samba tutorial videos as there are some more complicated steps I can practise at home on my own too and that is how I bumped into a YouTube tutorial for basic steps. So those who asked me on Saturday how to do it I hope you will check this post and watch the video, this couple is great in showing you the basics, it is in Portuguese, but that’s a double win, learning some language too! 🙂

I recall dancing Samba during movie shootings in the past winters also, while waiting for my turn to come. I was sometimes asked what is that dance and how, where I learned it or got some head nodding and acknowledgements followed by smiles from the crew.

Some Brazilian friends keep repeating me I am more Brazilian than they are.

Sometimes I think, they are just teasing me or flattering me?! The other time I take it as a compliment! 😀

As conclusion, I kept the advice I got when starting my first classes with Kinga at the former Brazilian Sport Center. She told us to dance Samba even when doing dishes, as those basic steps are really important to master and later to synchronize with the hand movements. I really recall it was hard to start. I thought I will never be able to do it! 🙂

Try it by yourself!

In the meantime I found classes by a new instuctor and hopefully switching back to it next Tuesday! Let me know if you want to join!