Category Archives: About me

Nem működik a céges laptopom, telefonról írok, mert ezt…

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Ki kell írjam magamból, mert sohasem tudom ezt veled megbeszélni, valójában már rég feladtam, hogy bármit is megtudok veled értetni, de ahogy látod, újból és újból probálkozom…

Miért van az, hogy még mindig félek tőled, s megakarok felelni neked;
…hogy félnem kell döntéseimre, cselekedeteimre hogyan fogsz reagálni..

Miért van, az hogy soha semmiben sem látod meg a jót?
Miért van az, hogy egy kedves ember álarcát viseled majd valóságos szörnyetegé tudsz változni?
Vidám, kedves ember mondják reád.
Igen, de nem amikor rólam van szó, olyan dacos dühös emberré változol, mintha én lennék életed legnagyobb kudarca.

Gyűlölöm, hogy sohase mondhatom el igazi gondolataim, véleményeim, mert nállad más véleménye kuka, csak az számít amit te mondasz és gondolsz!

Nem tisztelsz, sosem tetted.
Nincs olyan cselekedetem, amely téged boldoggá tudna tenni.

Nem értékeled az embereket körülötted, csak magaddal vagy elfoglalva, csak neked van igazad.

Sajnálom, hogy ilyen elkeseredett ember vagy, tudom, hogy nehéz gyerekkorod volt, de ez nem az én hibám.

Én is hordozom a keresztem és sokszor nem szólok, mert rég megtanultam, hogy nem számíthatok rád, mert sosem fogsz megérteni, elfogadni, esetleg elgondolkodni az én, de akár a többi ember helyzetén és kapcsolataidon velük, mert ez téged sosem érdekelt.

Törhetetlen az egód, pedig nem vagy bölcs és fogalmad sincs arról, hogy megbántod az embereket magad körül.

Engem is meggyötört az élet, hidd el, jobban mint gondolnád, nem véletlen kerültem a pszihiátriára, túl sok volt az az ember körülöttem aki felszínes volt velem és valójában nem is érdekelte őket valódi énem, olyan dolgokkal foglalkoztam melyek nem érdekeltek, de a megfelelési vágy késztetett. Egy új de mégsem új énem akartam felvállalni, de sajnos sok az irigy és megvető ember.

Minden negatív tapasztalatom, élethelyzetem ellenére, igyekszem elfogadni embereket a hibáikkal együtt, mert senki sem tökéletes én sem, s nem is baj..

Remélem kevesen vagytok, akik ugyanígy éreztek!

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De TE, még mindig hasba tudsz döfni…mindig azt mondom magamban, sajnos talán nem is tehetsz róla, hogy ilyen vagy…

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I lack time….

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I am in constant lack with time, but really, I have the feeling if day was about 48 hours I would still need more to do everything I want.

Before I continue, at the bottom is a Brazilian song, click and listen to it while reading 🙂 only to stay consistent to myself, in each blog post I will have one new MPB song. This one is specifically glad to me, as I find Vanessa da Mata as one of the icons of the Brazilian music scene. Watch the way she sings, her movements are full of elegance! If you scroll lower, do not forget to come back here and read further! 🙂

Related to my music and modeling things, as said in my yesterday’s post, I have a goal and that is to register to 5 agencies per day. When today I started writing this blog post, I thought first to register to databases of agencies that liked or commented my photos on Instagram, but most of them are quite far from me, so I decided to take on my list registration to Austrian agencies. I googled Austrian casting and modeling agencies and in the upcoming days I’ll do registration by them.

Today I did the following things for the modeling things:

  • Checked jobs on https://globalmodelsinc.com – one job was interesting, but it is only for premium users and if I’ll do an upgrade in some of my profiles it will be on Model Management (a post from yesterday: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/once-i-gave-it-up-or-just-took-a-break/) the rest of the jobs were not interesting.
  • I went for a casting by Hollywood casting, it was a textual one, and it is for a “Széchényi terv” project fund. I would not say I nailed it, I was not focused enough! There is so much going on in my head, I need to learn to control this!
  • On a way there I made this selfie…
  • Responded to Instagram comments. If you have one, you need to engage with people from the industry, you never know what connection a message will bring
  • registered to an Austrian agency: https://www.prestige-modelmanagement.com
  • sent mail to another Austrian agency: http://www.stellamodels.com
  • I have updated my profile on e-talenta (an online portfolio) and sent 2 intro letters to 2 Hungarian casting directors and to 9 Serbians (I am fluent in Serbian) via the site as it allows you to send personal messages. It is a new discovery for me and I find it great!
  • Messaged 2 photographers for a TF photoshooting, one is probably arranged for mid of November! 🙂
  • Registered to http://www.latitudetalent.com from New York as I got a follow on my Instagram from them – I do not think they will invite me for any job, as this profession requires you to be on the market, but I just felt like doing it. Of course, if you are beginning in the industry in Hungary, probably you will start with your registration in Hungarian agencies. I am registered at most, but I get the most job calls from Hollywood casting agency. You can find a list of casting agencies in my earlier post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2015/12/15/casting-agencies-hungary/ I made this post long time ago, but the list at the bottom of the blog post contains the majority of the agencies.
  • I have registered to a webpage http://www.62models.com – the agency is from New Zealand, quite far and again maybe pointless, but at least they have my contacts, maybe some of you will go there and at least you have the information about their existance!
  • I bumped into a website of Later Media – http://www.later.com, they seem to have good tips for using Instagram and I downloaded a free guide to read called “Instagram for Business strategy guide”. Lets see how I can use it for myself.
  • Had a quick glance on the site: https://join.ftcpublications.com/congratulations/how-to-apply/ To this page you need an invitation to apply, I need to investigate on them a bit more.

For my music I did the following:

  • Listened to this song below “Acreditar” for at least 100 times, I can sing already the refrain with a big confidence, so it is on my priority list of performing it too!

…tomorrow I am going for the Music Expo! I hope to see many cool things there!

PLUS, I wrote this post…

I found a great tutorial for basic Samba Pé steps!

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On Saturday I was with friends in House bar as it was a Brazilian party and a Buda Bloco concert hosted there, I have not been to one for long time!

There is no Brazilian party without Samba, right? And I am always happy to pull out  – as I usually SAY – my basic Samba dance knowledge.

I am not taking classes near for a year now and since yesterday I started to consider to get back to it again. The music makes me to move and I always conclude it’s one of the greatest dances, though I do not know how I will fit it in with yoga.

When I dance Samba, due to its intensity I feel it as I am doing sports. I know I am clumsy for complicated choreographies,  but I am not giving up. You should see me, what struggles I have when I need to learn a new step or choreography! :)))

However, last night a song started and in a moment I realized the people I was with stopped, being in awe, stared down at my feet and asked me: how am I doing that?? I do not think I am THAT good at all (BUT THANK YOU, it was nice feeling! 🙂

I am not taking classes near for a year now and since yesterday I started to consider to get back to it again. The music makes me to move and it’s one of the greatest dances, my interest in the Brazilian music started with Samba, maybe I mentioned this in some of my old posts.

However, I got good basic class education from different instructors in the past and I feel those basic steps now flowing naturally. Samba in winter time becomes my street warming up activity, you can find me dancing and singing while waiting for the public transport, some people might think I am crazy or others compliment me. Today it was the song from Roberta Sá “Samba de um minuto”. My new fav’ song I am learning the LETRÁS (lyrics) of it. It is really hard to sing that song, but the bigger the challenge the more I am targeted!

I arrived home, opened YouTube and looked for Samba tutorial videos as there are some more complicated steps I can practise at home on my own too and that is how I bumped into a YouTube tutorial for basic steps. So those who asked me on Saturday how to do it I hope you will check this post and watch the video, this couple is great in showing you the basics, it is in Portuguese, but that’s a double win, learning some language too! 🙂

I recall dancing Samba during movie shootings in the past winters also, while waiting for my turn to come. I was sometimes asked what is that dance and how, where I learned it or got some head nodding and acknowledgements followed by smiles from the crew.

Some Brazilian friends keep repeating me I am more Brazilian than they are.

Sometimes I think, they are just teasing me or flattering me?! The other time I take it as a compliment! 😀

As conclusion, I kept the advice I got when starting my first classes with Kinga at the former Brazilian Sport Center. She told us to dance Samba even when doing dishes, as those basic steps are really important to master and later to synchronize with the hand movements. I really recall it was hard to start. I thought I will never be able to do it! 🙂

Try it by yourself!

In the meantime I found classes by a new instuctor and hopefully switching back to it next Tuesday! Let me know if you want to join!

I get lost in all these opinions I read

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I started to read blog posts about the topic what I should write about to have a successful blog and to talk to people, and I keep running into opinions that your blog needs to be focused on one-two topics.

well, there is one thing that is almost always mentioned in my blogs, the word: Brazil in some form 🙂

I do not know how this flag got integrated here… 😉

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Anyway, my inner voice is very offended on this “be focused on one thing”, as generally, even in other fields of my life I think I have issues with it 🙂

What if I am interested in many things to write about?

Can you make it to get succesful?

Any tips, advice?

Do you know any successful blogger who was doing similar, more alike personal blogging?

Hey, before you listen to this song below, read the text under my post on Instagram “with the green greeting card and smiley” to learn the meaning on the word Bunda in Hungarian and Portuguese 🙂

and now…

Ivete Sangalo is I think one of the most famous Brazilian singers and Alejandro is a well-known Spanish musician.

I discovered the song by a chance, why don’t you listen to it too? Just listen that language, it is so beautiful! Okay, I know I am subjective…btw. my Portugese vocabulary is reaching 900 words on Duolingo!

Credit: http://flaglane.com/download/brazilian-flag

my first really short haircut

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Actually I only wanted to share a photo of me from about 15 years ago, it was made somewhere between 2001-2003 as I can recall I was working by Colgate-Palmolive at that time as Receptionist. That was my first “serious” job in Budapest by a big FMCG company. The experience I have gained there and the name of the company helped me a lot later in my job searches  (PLUS my Serbian language knowledge).

I have to admit it was one of the best companies I worked for. I have nice memories about that period.

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I remember one winter spending with all my colleagues on skiing in Austria as a company bonus for the achieved sales results. On that skiing it was the first time I was skiing ever in my life. I remember sliding down the hill and shouting in German: Aufpassen, aufpassen! (Meaning: Watch out, watch out! I was in such fear, it was all I could remember from my German language knowledge). Luckily nobody was killed!

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With some people from Colgate I am still in connection.

However, my point was to post the photo of me when one day in that Colgate period I went to a hairdresser and asked my hairdresser to cut my so called “long hair” with a haircut machine.

Now as I look at the photo I do not see it so terrifying, but nobody saw me before with a such short hair, so it was shocking. I remember the Colgate General Managers look. He did not seemed to be impressed, but he was a cool Sicilian man, so he just said, something like: oh, new haircut! 🙂

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And I feel like linking this song here, it is one of my favourite songs from Morcheeba:

“exactly” 21 years ago I arrived to Budapest

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Okay, 21 years + 1 day, as it was on the 21th of September in 1996 when I arrived to Déli Pályaudvar in Budapest for the first time in my life.

Like those typical stories, I arrived with with one luggage and 100 German Marks in my pocket. Before the trip my parents bought me new trousers and some new clothing so I do not look like a poor village girl.

At the train station in Subotica my father cried. I think I never saw him before crying and it was a moment I knew this is a big thing for them, just as for me. I was 18 and for the first time in my life left alone with life and without parents to guide me. They told me when you arrive to Budapest, take a taxi and go to the exact address of the dormitory (now I am happy it happened different, because I would have got ripped off by some fake taxi definitely, those who live in Budapest they know which type of taxi I am talking about..For those who does not, an advice: in Budapest call taxi rather, then stopping it on the street)

I think before leaving Serbia I was not even aware what is happening with me. On the train station before the train started my father approached a girl and introduced me to her, it turned out she lived in Budapest for many years and if I recall her name well, she was Lidia Onjecki. As we talked we even found some common relative connections. I do not remember how the trip went, I only recall arriving to Déli pályaudvar with her and she took me to the dormitory I supposed to stay at. Beginners luck.

Unfortunately I lost the contact of the girl since then.

After I arrived I got placed on the 3rd floor of the dormitory without a roommate. I spent my first night crying and longing for my home and then I fall asleep.

The next day I met my neighbour, who was a guy around 30, some Szabolcs Tóth, from Kishegyes (?), yet I still felt like being in a ghost house. The 3rd floor where my room was, it was so calm and there were no people except the teachers and Szabolcs.

I was sitting in my room again in a pain and loneliness, when I remembered a boyfreind of my childhood friend from Serbia applied also for the scholarship in Kodolányi János Intézet (NEI) or today it is called Balassi Intézet (a 1 year preparation school in Hungarian). I went to a teacher that was on-duty and asked if he lives in the dormitory.

I got his room number and found him. We did not know each other well, however he was the only person I knew, we both were very happy when we met. From that moment my world changed. I was not feeling lost anymore, he introduced me to his friends. It turned out the most live floors were the 4-5 floors for living. I asked to be placed on the 5th floor and the journey of 1 year started in NEI, the best years of my life ever.

A new world opened.  I have couple of photos from that period. I cannot recognize myself. This is a photo with one of my friends from Pancevo, Nati! I had a “long” reddish hair. I think it is the longest hair you could have ever see me with! 🙂

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And if you are wondering why I chose Budapest?

  • I wanted to study and it was the only way my parents could afford with the support of the goverment (as I got a scholarship for Budapest)
  • I wanted to be independent from my parents
  • for having new experiences and meeting new people

 

anyone feels the same?

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Each day I am waking up with a pain in my chest and my belly, sometimes I really have the feeling I will get a heart-attack.

There is a constant anxiety in me and I really do not know anymore what to do about it. I am fighting with this feeling each day.

I am unhappy with my work, but also in a big confusion if not this, what else? It is not that I do not want to make a change. I do not know to what to change.

For the weekend I applied for about 20 jobs, about 3 of them seemed interesting, I already got 2 letters of rejection, and from the rest no respond (okay, it is not that I do not know that not all employers are giving a feedback).

I am impatient, as I cannot stand this place I am at. It is not me, it is not challenging me, it does not give me any new knowledge and I am also not interested to learn about IT things. I try to explain to myself: Gabi, at least you learned YOU will never accept again a job that is IT related.

If somebody would ask me what is my dream job I am not sure if I could answer it? Sometimes I am not even sure I want to search for a job in this country.

Do you know what is your dream job? What advice you would give to someone who is stuck?

 

patient, no chance…

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I saw a post on Facebook of Nóri, a make-up artist I had a chance to meet via one of my jobs by Dream Media and I wanted to try this test with my name too…the result is the following, pfffff… now, if you know me being patient is not really my quality and I am like that with everything in my life, I am rather like this song below from Queen!

gabi…this one 🙂

 

“Listen all you people, come gather round
I gotta get me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine,
People do you hear me, just give me the sign,
It ain’t much I’m asking, if you want the truth
Here’s to the future for the dreams of youth,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now,
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now”

*the video is not my property…

Test was taken via: http://en.nametests.com/

the video speaks for itself :)

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Hi People…

I will tell u only couple of words, for the rest watch the video…home-edition, but wow, now I can imagine what a huge job is to make a movie…

pls…it’s the first time I have opened such software, so do not expect a Hollywood movie 😉

I used a free software, downloadable from the internet and called “Easy video maker”, making the video was really easy, this program for us amateurs is logical and easy to use, however after finishing and saving the project I thought this is that I can upload it to youtube and link it here…couple of hours later I learned I had to convert the final video to MP4. Pffffff, amateur…but, it is logical!

After struggling alone for about a 2 hour I decided to post the question: “how to convert rzmmpj extension to mp4 to be able to upload to Youtube?”. I posted to my newly created Facebook group: “Hungarian models, actors, musicians, entertainers – English speaking”…an acquitance messaged me!

About a month ago I met Robert Stuparu from Romania on the International event called “Meetup” that was held in Ankert, he was the one who helped me out. He asked me to provided him with printscreens via private message and he found the magic button…

Robert, you made my day!

Hobby video creators, once you are using this video creator/editor, remember the following: in “Easy video maker” the final button for publishing/converting to MP4 and exporting a project is called “Render”!  (at the right bottom corner)

So the important words for this video are: Ceruza játszótér (Pencil playground), Gellért, bus 27, Buda side…and just a casual winter day with Filip and Lola!

And another conclusion: if you need a help, ask for a help (my group is a perfect place for that)

 

Mini “me”

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A friend of mine sent me two days ago a photo about himself as a baby and I looked at my wall …I have a wall covered with Filip’s and my photos from the childhood and since I moved often, I was afraid once to put them away and never find again. I also planned to make some digital version of them anyway to save for the “old age” period.

Here is a prove I was blond and stylish as always, hahahahaha

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red sandals

Lower the first photo with dad, he probably told me to do these stupid faces, but I do not recall anything about it, however I like my dumb faces and not knowing what to do in front of camera, just as now many times 😀

The second photo is in my grandparents frontyard in a village called Tóba (I visited for X-mas my grandma, I heard there are now only about 500 inhabitants there).

I spent there lot’s of nice summers and winters, because the street was full of kids, I had lots of cousins living in the street and I was the youngest and the only girl, I was protected by my “brothers”. This is a photo where I cannot deny I am Hungarian 🙂 I have the typical Hungarian motives – “kalocsai” embroidery. On the last photo, the baby is my sister Tünde and the blond boy, Paul is my cousin in the US. And I am 100% sure we were dressed up specially for this photographing (you know, for being good looking on the photos). How much we hated this as a kid, you will see later on one of the photos.

I do not know if you realized my hair is short, I was not happy with that either. I always wanted to have a long hair, later when I was a bit older, couple of times I managed to grow it, but for very short periods. Let’s say: My parents probably recognized short hair suits me more, but…anyway.

Actually I could never really grow a “long, long Frozen Elsa hair” even after in my older ages. I love my short haircut now a lot. And Filip likes the long hair of our babysitter Erika. 😀

These kids are my cousins, I am missing my sister and brother on the photos, and  Gabrili’s sister Anna. My sister Tünde was probably playing with the black cat in the huge trunk of my aunties Mercedes and my brother József arrived to the world 14 year later after me 😀

I am the girl in the blue on the right, but I think it is obvious. I loved that dress.

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Lídia, Gabrili, Tanja, me, István and Mirela – from left going onto right

And below is the “I hate photographing” photo. Look at my face, like “common finish and let’s take off this dress, because it was anyway ment for photographing”.

My grandfathers 6 brother and sisters family are/were living in the US, I recall one of my Great Aunts each time she visited us, she brought us cute dresses. My memories are blurry about these family members, because we did not meet a lot.

Oh yeah, we always got the same dresses, like twins. Now I find it cute, but then I didn’t. 😀

I guess Aunty did not wanted to make difference in the presents – you know kids can be jelaous at each other – or she just found cute to see two  nice girls in nice dresses. 😀

See the contrast with my sister, only common in our look is the dress.

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Mom  Irén,  dad József,  me and my sister Tünde (in translation: willow, but she was more devil)

This below is Attila,  I have no clue who is he, some family friends kid, but I love this photo.

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The roses are red, the violet is blue, the honey is sweet and we are too 😉

and this girl was my only competition in Tóba (my grandparents village), sometimes were were friend, but mostly fighting. And this is another dress from the US which my sister had too (I do not know where she was when this photo was taken)

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Sári, Gabi and the white socks, and again “nice setup” for photographing

sorry, no more photos for now 🙂