I keep track on my invested work…

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I keep track on my invested work…

…this way I can see what steps I made and at the end of the day I won’t have the feeling that I have not accomplished anything.

So I did a quick search on some agencies today and messaged with introduction mail the following agencies:

http://www.stellamodels.com/ Austria

http://www.lookformodels.at/ Austria

http://www.characters-models.com/ Spain

http://www.bialymodels.com/ Poland? Thailand?

Contacted: http://friendlyfire.at/ with a nice introduction mail – Friendly Fire is a 3D Concept and Production House in Vienna – I asked them for an advice which casting agencies to contact. Maybe it is better if someone else tells me, so I save on the time to investigate. But, let’s see if they will reply.

Anyone has an experience with an Austrian character/senior modeling agency that works with internationals?

I will continue applying at Austrian agencies, as Vienna is close for jobs.

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Now we are off with Filip for the Music Expo.

And here is a song for today too, which is very different from the songs I usually post, and yes, it is also from Brazil. Brazil is not only about Bossa Nova, Samba…

I find this band a bit strange, maybe that is why I like them. ūüôā

I am progressing in my Portuguese, e.g. I know whats the meaning of the bands name and songs title:

Banda do Mar – the band from the sea

Mais Ninguém Рnobody else

 

 

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I lack time….

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I am in constant lack with time, but really, I have the feeling if day was about 48 hours I would still need more to do everything I want.

Before I continue, at the bottom is a Brazilian song, click and listen to it while reading ūüôā only to stay consistent to myself, in each blog post I will have one new MPB song. This one is specifically glad to me, as I find Vanessa da Mata as one of the icons of the Brazilian music scene. Watch the way she sings, her movements are full of elegance! If you scroll lower, do not forget to come back here and read further! ūüôā

Related to my music and modeling things, as said in my yesterday’s post, I have a goal and that is to register to 5 agencies per day. When today I started writing this blog post, I thought first to register to databases of agencies that liked or commented my photos on Instagram, but most of them are quite far from me, so I decided to take on my list registration to Austrian agencies. I googled Austrian casting and modeling agencies and in the upcoming days I’ll do registration by them.

Today I did the following things for the modeling things:

  • Checked jobs on https://globalmodelsinc.com – one job was interesting, but it is only for premium users and if I’ll do an upgrade in some of my profiles it will be on Model Management (a post from yesterday: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/10/05/once-i-gave-it-up-or-just-took-a-break/) the rest of the jobs were not interesting.
  • I went for a casting by Hollywood casting, it was a textual one, and it is for a “Sz√©ch√©nyi terv” project fund. I would not say I nailed it, I was not focused enough! There is so much going on in my head, I need to learn to control this!
  • On a way there I made this selfie…
  • Responded to Instagram comments. If you have one, you need to engage with people from the industry, you never know what connection a message will bring
  • registered to an Austrian agency: https://www.prestige-modelmanagement.com
  • sent mail to another Austrian agency: http://www.stellamodels.com
  • I have updated my profile on e-talenta (an online portfolio) and sent 2 intro letters to 2 Hungarian casting directors and to 9 Serbians (I am fluent in Serbian) via the site as it allows you to send personal messages. It is a new discovery for me and I find it great!
  • Messaged 2 photographers for a TF photoshooting, one is probably arranged for mid of November! ūüôā
  • Registered to http://www.latitudetalent.com from New York as I got a follow on my Instagram from them – I do not think they will invite me for any job, as this profession requires you to be on the market, but I just felt like doing it. Of course, if you are beginning in the industry in Hungary, probably you will start with your registration in Hungarian agencies. I am registered at most, but I get the most job calls from Hollywood casting agency. You can find a list of casting agencies in my earlier post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2015/12/15/casting-agencies-hungary/ I made this post long time ago, but the list at the bottom of the blog post contains the majority of the agencies.
  • I have registered to a webpage http://www.62models.com – the agency is from New Zealand, quite far and again maybe pointless, but at least they have my contacts, maybe some of you will go there and at least you have the information about their existance!
  • I bumped into a website of Later Media – http://www.later.com, they seem to have good tips for using Instagram and I downloaded a free guide to read called “Instagram for Business strategy guide”. Lets see how I can use it for myself.
  • Had a quick glance on the site: https://join.ftcpublications.com/congratulations/how-to-apply/ To this page you need an invitation to apply, I need to investigate on them a bit more.

For my music I did the following:

  • Listened to this song below “Acreditar” for at least 100 times, I can sing already the refrain with a big confidence, so it is on my priority list of performing it too!

…tomorrow I am going for the Music Expo! I hope to see many cool things there!

PLUS, I wrote this post…

once I gave it up or just took a break?

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this modeling, acting, music thing…before you continue, scroll down, put on the music, I promise you a nice melodic song¬†this time¬†ūüôā

in each of my blog post I will give you some insight into Brazilian MPB, trust me it is worth of clicking on the music¬†and sooner or later I will start posting my own cover recordings ūüôā I am working on that too!

So, if the music is on, you can continue reading here:

the more I try to convince myself I should do only¬†a “normal” regular job, my gut and heart shouts,¬†YOU are again neglecting what you really like doing.

Have you had this feeling? Do you have some secret profession, you do not believe you could do, because this naughty voice is talking in your head?

I do this neglecting so successfully that I almost convinced myself modeling is not for me at all and I successfully pushed it to the back of my mind for the last 1, 5 year Р doing some shootings only for fun.

One of the reasons for that was, as I had difficulties getting modeling jobs,¬† I did not know much about the industry, about Hungarian¬†agencies, later I was¬†also upset how much the entertainment industry¬†in Hungary¬†uses people,¬†then I realized this is the “curse” of this industry and you need to filter who you work with, step out for yourself¬†and¬†sooner or later, hopefully, those “bad” ones will disappear and good one¬†appear.

One of my favourite photos is this one – the photo has its story, but some other time about that:

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To defend myself in front of myself too, I had to accept anyone starting from zero in any branch would have difficulties, plus here comes the fact: at MY age in this industry, Hungary is not the best place for beginning, but not impossible. Like every other job you need to invest into yourself and into learning new skills (learning how to pose is also a skill that not comes naturally to everyone). You really need to be persistent, and this industry really requires you to be a fighter, listener, observer and good networker, I think more than in any other industries.

All these things with modeling and singing for me started unfolding about 4 years ago. I still try to understand how could I suppress it for so long. In my childhood I dreamed of being famous, I wanted to become an actress, leaving a print foot behind when I die (I am weird even to myself for these thoughts).

At age of 18 I was stopped by an agent on Ferenciek tere¬†in Budapest to register with her in an agency for modeling.¬†Can you imagine remembering something like this for 20 years and doing nothing about it? I even commented in myself, me??? Look at me how I look! Still, if this I can recall so well, the way I am holding the business card in my hand on Ferenciek, there must have been something about it, I just did not believe into myself. I know¬†how low my self-esteem was. It is low even now ūüôā apparently it does not seem so when you meet me in person and the way I expose myself now. :)))¬†As teenager¬†I¬†thought¬†of myself¬†as a no chance model category¬†and in this belief I did not even think it further.

I guess, it was ment to happen like that, to forget about the agent above I am telling to myself maybe the person I met was a scam or I needed other things to learn in my life to come here where I am now. If I look back, I can say I have my brick settled into the walls of Budapest with my history here too, DEFINITELY.

Anyway, ever since I started to do music, modeling, acting I tried to fit into my life to go for castings each time I get a call and I am interested into the job. I have a casting end of this week too for a local commercial, though now an sick-leave, hopefully I will be able to make it.

Even nowadays I am questioning if I am good enough for singing, modeling, so if you are in the same shoes, I understand you. I am obviously not in this age range of 14-22, I also think there are markets where my look is more easy to sell (e.g. I got a casting call by an agency to Malaysia, Japan if I am around, even! Ford China responded to visit them if I am around, I tagged them in some of my post and they responded). The true is, I am tied in a way to Budapest because of Filip and his father, we would never be able to give up on him, but I also know I need to go and do my things, it is an example I need to give to him, I just need to find the proper way so he is still included in my life. It is something that is always on my mind as if you are following me and know me you know what hard times this gives me.

So what else to do then? Sit and read how to do it from here for now, make it step by step even it is maybe the harder way and whatever comes we will cope with it.

Today I did the following, as first steps:

I am registered on a modeling platform: https://www.modelmanagement.com/model/gabriella-karvk/ so I am able to apply for modeling jobs in Hungary, but mostly abroad, the page is for some reason less used in Hungary.  With a free registration on this site you have only 2 casting application possibilities per month. I did got selected already for jobs even with these 2 casting application possibilities. I applied for a job on Model Management in Valencia and one in Köln.

I used to be a premium member and¬†I am considering to pay off¬†again for¬†a yearly based membership which allows me to apply unlimited, I can connect my Instagram etc. – read about it on the page if you are more interested –¬†but I did some investment this month into my music equipment finally (buying a microphone) so I might delay the membership paying or not, I will see, as in a way it can bring me jobs, I might do savings on something else.

I started to follow what agencies, people are following my Instagram¬†profile¬†(check right side¬†of my blog)¬†and registering to modeling sites when I see a “like” from them. I do not care if it is an agency that hires youngsters or not, I take my time to make my input on the pages and submit.

Todays target:

I am registering online to minimum 5 agencies, these two I already registered to:

http://www.eastwestmodels.de/

http://agenciaaire.es/ – they contacted me via Model Management to register to their database for a possible casting, if you speak Spanish fill in, otherwise contact them via email. I hope I will get some feedback.

Of course, this way is much harder, specially as I am not in the market where I am applying, but since I had traveling modeling jobs, I think there are chances for more…

Now I am off to do those spaghetti for lunch (Filip asked them for¬†dinner)¬†and later continue applying…

If you are interested in more agency sites I will apply to, engage with me here and let me know! We can do it together!

I am also accepting advises from you!

If there is a modeling agency you know it is hiring traveling models, let me know, obrigada!

I found a great tutorial for basic Samba P√© steps!

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On Saturday I was with friends in House bar as it was a Brazilian party and a Buda Bloco concert hosted there, I have not been to one for long time!

There is no Brazilian party without Samba, right? And I am always happy to pull out¬† –¬†as I usually SAY¬†– my basic Samba dance knowledge.

I am not taking classes¬†near for¬†a year now and since¬†yesterday I started to¬†consider to¬†get back to it again.¬†The music makes me to move and I always conclude it’s one of the greatest dances, though¬†I do not know how I will fit it in with yoga.

When I dance Samba, due to its intensity I feel it as I am doing sports. I know I am clumsy for complicated choreographies,  but I am not giving up. You should see me, what struggles I have when I need to learn a new step or choreography! :)))

However, last night¬†a song started and in¬†a¬†moment¬†I realized the people I was¬†with stopped, being in awe, stared down¬†at my¬†feet¬†and¬†asked me: how am I doing that?? I¬†do not¬†think I am¬†THAT good at all (BUT THANK YOU, it was nice feeling! ūüôā

I am not taking classes¬†near for¬†a year now and since¬†yesterday I started to¬†consider to¬†get back to it again.¬†The music makes me to move and it’s one of the greatest dances, my interest in the Brazilian music started with Samba, maybe I mentioned this in some of my old posts.

However, I got good basic¬†class education from different instructors¬†in the past and I¬†feel those basic steps now¬†flowing naturally. Samba in winter time becomes my street¬†warming up activity, you can¬†find me dancing and singing while waiting for the public transport, some people might think I am crazy or¬†others compliment me. Today it was the song from Roberta S√° “Samba de um minuto”. My new fav’ song I am learning the LETR√ĀS (lyrics) of it. It is really hard to sing that song, but the bigger the challenge the more I am targeted!

I arrived home, opened YouTube and looked for Samba tutorial¬†videos as¬†there¬†are some more complicated steps¬†I can practise at home on my own too¬†and that is how I¬†bumped into a YouTube tutorial for basic steps. So those who asked me¬†on Saturday¬†how to do it I hope you will check this post and watch the video, this couple is¬†great in¬†showing you the basics, it is in Portuguese,¬†but that’s a double win, learning some¬†language too! ūüôā

I recall dancing Samba during movie shootings in the past winters also, while waiting for my turn to come. I was sometimes asked what is that dance and how, where I learned it or got some head nodding and acknowledgements followed by smiles from the crew.

Some Brazilian friends keep repeating me I am more Brazilian than they are.

Sometimes I¬†think, they are just teasing me or¬†flattering me?!¬†The other time¬†I¬†take it as a compliment! ūüėÄ

As conclusion,¬†I kept the advice I got when starting my first classes¬†with¬†Kinga at the former Brazilian Sport Center. She¬†told us to¬†dance Samba even when doing dishes, as those basic steps are really important to master and¬†later to¬†synchronize¬†with the hand movements. I really recall it was hard to start. I thought I will never be able to do it! ūüôā

Try it by yourself!

In the meantime I found classes by a new instuctor and hopefully switching back to it next Tuesday! Let me know if you want to join!

I get lost in all these opinions I read

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I started to read blog posts about the topic what I should write about to have a successful blog and to talk to people, and I keep running into opinions that your blog needs to be focused on one-two topics.

well, there is one thing that is almost always mentioned in my blogs, the word: Brazil in some form ūüôā

I do not know how this flag got integrated here… ūüėČ

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Anyway, my inner voice is very offended on this “be focused on one thing”, as generally, even in other fields of my life I think I have issues with it ūüôā

What if I am interested in many things to write about?

Can you make it to get succesful?

Any tips, advice?

Do you know any successful blogger who was doing similar, more alike personal blogging?

Hey, before you listen to this song below, read the text under my post on Instagram “with the green greeting card and smiley” to learn the meaning on the word Bunda in Hungarian and Portuguese ūüôā

and now…

Ivete Sangalo is I think one of the most famous Brazilian singers and Alejandro is a well-known Spanish musician.

I discovered the song by a chance, why don’t you listen to it too? Just listen that language, it is so beautiful! Okay, I know I am subjective…btw. my Portugese vocabulary is reaching 900 words on Duolingo!

Credit: http://flaglane.com/download/brazilian-flag

Anker’t and IMP – have you ever been to it?

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Two weeks ago there was¬†the 5th anniversary of IMP (International Meeting Point) in Budapest. It is an event that takes place every other week on Wednesday in Anker’t. I am not a regular visitor, but in the last month I managed to go the both occasions, 2 weeks ago and yesterday. Yesterday I went there as I was hosting a Couchsurfer and we met there for the evening, plus I promised to Martina to catch up.

Remark for those coming first time to the event: upon arrival, register at the table that you are attending the event and get your IMP bracelet, as later you might have a chance to win some prizes.

If you are a traveller, a local, an expat, a couchsurfer, a student, whatever you feel like being and you feel like having a chat, a drink or two, to¬†network¬†with local and international people – or with ME ūüôā – this is only a joke – do not hesitate to skip in and make some new connections. The events are announced on Facebook bi-weekly named as “international meeting point – let’s meet, drink & dance!” but you can find it also on the Couchsurfing community site. Not every week is the same, and not every event is fun, but it is an option for a weekday going out for couple of hours.

If you move your mouse cursor over the photos below our names get displayed (in case not, here we are: Rony, Gabriel, me, Martina, Nicola, Ambrogio, and the “pop-out of nowhere” Brazilian girl, unfortunately I do not recall her name. She came to us randomly, but in a moment when we were exchanging some thoughts related to Brazil. She showed up, for some reason I turned to her and asked in Portuguese, are you from Brazil? On my biggest shock she replied and she continued to talk to me in Portuguese. At first I thought I heard it wrong or she was joking, but no. She was really from Brazil. We laughed hard as it was really an unexpected situation. I am still amazed how she ended up by us right in that minute.

Gabriele (with the glasses in the middle) and Nicola (last guy on right) won on the IMP game vouchers for drinks, so they used the opportunity to have some tequila shots, Martina was inaugurated to be part of the tequila drinking.

Rony said, he will test this in Brazil. Good luck! ūüôā

Anyway, I go for these meetings when I have time and will.

It is not only about partying, but also about getting connected with people, feeling good vibes and laughing a lot!

one of my favourite music venues in Budapest

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I am every second week without Filip so I take the opportunity to visit places I am not in the weeks of parenting.

Couple of weeks ago we have agreed with Radmila to go¬†to Brody Studio on one of the¬†Mondays¬†– you might remember¬†Radmila, my alterego¬†ūüôā from my post: https://karvakg.wordpress.com/2017/09/15/women-of-budapest-choir-there-you-goooooooo/

Anyway, I chose Monday as it is the day when the venue hosts musicians for jamming and a kind of open mic on the first floor at the bar area.

I became member of the club some year ago when I  went for a performance at the place. The attached photos may not reflect so well on the place, but if you have the chance to stay at their hotel (Brody house) or visit the venue, do not miss it! The place is very cozy and with a nice ambient. They offer a great variety of programs: stand-ups, workshops, events etc.

However, as mentioned, you need a membership. Get in contact with them on: https://www.brody.land/contact/

So here we are Radmila, Martina and myself having our girls night-out in Brody!

Now, I am off to learn some lyrics so I can get up there on the stage with some next occasion and sing some song!

my first really short haircut

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Actually I only¬†wanted to share a photo of me from about 15 years ago, it was made somewhere between 2001-2003 as I can recall I was working by Colgate-Palmolive at that time¬†as¬†Receptionist. That was my first “serious”¬†job in Budapest by a big FMCG¬†company.¬†The experience I have gained there and the name of the company¬†helped me a lot later in my job searches ¬†(PLUS my Serbian language knowledge).

I have to admit it was one of the best companies I worked for. I have nice memories about that period.

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I remember one winter spending with all my colleagues on skiing in Austria as a company bonus for the achieved sales results. On that skiing it was the first time I was skiing ever in my life. I remember sliding down the hill and shouting in German: Aufpassen, aufpassen! (Meaning: Watch out, watch out! I was in such fear, it was all I could remember from my German language knowledge). Luckily nobody was killed!

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With some people from Colgate I am still in connection.

However, my point was to post the photo of me when one day in that Colgate period¬†I went to a hairdresser and asked my hairdresser to cut my so called “long hair” with a haircut machine.

Now as I look at the photo I do not see it so terrifying, but nobody saw me before with a¬†such short hair, so¬†it was shocking. I remember the Colgate General Managers look. He did not seemed to be impressed, but he was a cool Sicilian man, so he just said, something like:¬†oh, new haircut! ūüôā

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And I feel like linking this song here, it is one of my favourite songs from Morcheeba:

“exactly” 21 years ago I arrived to Budapest

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Okay, 21 years + 1 day, as it was on the 21th of September in 1996 when I arrived to Déli Pályaudvar in Budapest for the first time in my life.

Like those typical stories, I arrived with with one luggage and 100 German Marks in my pocket. Before the trip my parents bought me new trousers and some new clothing so I do not look like a poor village girl.

At the train station in Subotica my father cried. I think I never saw him before crying and it was a moment I knew this is a big thing for them, just as for me. I was 18 and for the first time in my life left alone with life and without parents to guide me. They told me when you arrive to Budapest, take a taxi and go to the exact address of the dormitory (now I am happy it happened different, because I would have got ripped off by some fake taxi definitely, those who live in Budapest they know which type of taxi I am talking about..For those who does not, an advice: in Budapest call taxi rather, then stopping it on the street)

I think before leaving Serbia I was not even aware what is happening with me. On the train station before the train started my father approached a girl and introduced me to her, it turned out she lived in Budapest for many years and if I recall her name well, she was Lidia Onjecki. As we talked we even found some common relative connections. I do not remember how the trip went, I only recall arriving to Déli pályaudvar with her and she took me to the dormitory I supposed to stay at. Beginners luck.

Unfortunately I lost the contact of the girl since then.

After I arrived I got placed on the 3rd floor of the dormitory without a roommate. I spent my first night crying and longing for my home and then I fall asleep.

The next day I met my neighbour, who was a guy around 30, some Szabolcs Tóth, from Kishegyes (?), yet I still felt like being in a ghost house. The 3rd floor where my room was, it was so calm and there were no people except the teachers and Szabolcs.

I was sitting in my room again in a pain and loneliness, when I remembered a boyfreind of my childhood friend from Serbia applied also for the scholarship in Kodolányi János Intézet (NEI) or today it is called Balassi Intézet (a 1 year preparation school in Hungarian). I went to a teacher that was on-duty and asked if he lives in the dormitory.

I got his room number and found him. We did not know each other well, however he was the only person I knew, we both were very happy when we met. From that moment my world changed. I was not feeling lost anymore, he introduced me to his friends. It turned out the most live floors were the 4-5 floors for living. I asked to be placed on the 5th floor and the journey of 1 year started in NEI, the best years of my life ever.

A new world opened.¬† I have couple of photos from that period. I cannot recognize myself. This is a photo with one of my friends from Pancevo, Nati! I had a “long” reddish hair. I think it is the longest hair you could have ever see me with! ūüôā

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And if you are wondering why I chose Budapest?

  • I wanted to study and it was the only way my parents could afford with the support of the goverment¬†(as I got a scholarship for Budapest)
  • I wanted to be independent from my parents
  • for having new experiences and meeting new people

 

egy nagyon bonyolult eset…

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Bella egyre ink√°bb azt √©rezte, hogy neki az lenne a legjobb, ha teljesen mellŇĎzn√© a f√©rfiakat az √©let√©bŇĎl, s elmondta mi√©rt…

Bar√°tnŇĎj√©vel besz√©lgetett arr√≥l, hogy¬†vas√°rnap volt egy esete¬†amikor megismerkedett egy portug√°l pasival Raullal, aki tetszett neki, s a tal√°lka alatt pr√≥b√°lt a pasival kapcsolatot l√©tes√≠teni, de a pasit hidegen hagyt√°k a pr√≥b√°lkoz√°sok, s azt vette rajta √©szre, hogy nagyon a gondolataiba van elmer√ľlve, mintha nem is lenne ott a helyen a csoport t√∂bbi r√©sztvevŇĎivel ezen az esem√©nyen, idŇĎnk√©nt feltett neki p√°r k√©rd√©st, a pasi megv√°laszolta, de tov√°bbra sem mutatta annak a jel√©t, hogy b√°rmi √©rdeklŇĎd√©se is lenne a l√°ny ir√°nt, meg is besz√©lt√©k a bar√°tnŇĎj√©ve, hogy ez a pasi nagyon z√°rk√≥zott √©s ink√°bb hagyj√°k.

Raul mellett √ľlt egy spanyol¬†fi√ļ, Daniel, aki szint√©n felkeltette Bella √©rdeklŇĎd√©s√©t m√°r √©rkez√©sekor, val√≥j√°ban¬†ŇĎ elŇĎbb¬†√©rkezett, mint a portug√°l f√©rfi Raul, s m√©g a b√°rpultn√°l √∂sszeismerkedett vele a l√°ny, majd odakis√©rte a t√∂bbiekhez. Volt valami s√°rmos a sr√°cban, de valami furcsas√°g is, folyamatosan azt √©rezte Bella, hogy a fi√ļ megfigyelŇĎk√©nt van ott, aki az embereket lesi.¬†Daniel is csak √°tutaz√≥ban volt Budapesten √©s p√°r napra keresett sz√°ll√°st.

Az asztaln√°l feldobta valaki, hogy tal√°ljanak neki sz√°ll√°st,¬†Bella egy kicsit meggondolatlanul odavetette, hogy v√©g√ľlis n√°la maradhat 1-2 napot, mert gyermeke √©desapj√°n√°l lesz, √≠gy szabad lesz az egyik √°gy. Bella mindezt teljesen bar√°ti alapon aj√°nlotta fel, b√°rmilyen sz√°nd√©k n√©lk√ľl, s a spanyol sr√°c √∂r√∂mmel fogadta.¬† A besz√©lget√©sek alatt kider√ľlt, hogy¬†Daniel h√°zas,¬†√≠gy a l√°ny nem √©rezte, hogy agg√≥dnia kell b√°rmi miatt vele kapcsolatban,¬†b√°r k√©sŇĎbb¬†az este folyam√°n p√°rszor √©szrevette, hogy a fi√ļ m√©lyen a szem√©be n√©zett vagy √©p azt figyelte a l√°ny kivel besz√©lget, elhesegette a gondolatot, mert h√°zas √©s mag√°ban megjegyezte, hogy csak k√©pzelŇĎdik.

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P√°r h√©ttel a Portug√°lia-i utaz√°sa elŇĎtt Couchsurfingen megismerkedett a l√°ny egy h√°zas f√©rfival Joaoval, aki val√≥j√°ban a l√°ny lisszaboni utaz√°s√°ra reag√°lva jelentkezett. Mikor elŇĎsz√∂r jelentkezett a l√°nynak nem tudta, hogy ez a f√©rfi is h√°zas. A l√°ny Couchsurfingen ki√≠rta, hogy a v√°rosban lesz √©s sz√≠vesen tal√°lkozik helyiekkel. Akadt is bŇĎven jelentkezŇĎ, de v√©g√ľl az esem√©nyek Lisszabonban annyira felgyorsultak, hogy nem volt ideje gondolkodni egy√©b programokon, Joao t√∂bbsz√∂r is felaj√°nlotta mag√°t v√°rosn√©z√©sre, de a l√°ny visszautas√≠totta, majd jelezte a f√©rfinak, majd hosszabb besz√©lget√©sek ut√°n bevallotta, vonz√≥dik hozz√°, de nem szeretne vele tal√°lkozni, mert h√°zas.

Joao nem adta fel, t√∂bbek k√∂z√∂tt az√©rt is igyekezett a l√°ny k√∂zel√©be f√©rkŇĎzni, mert szeptember elej√©n Budapestre utazott. A l√°ny jelezte, hogy maximum egy napot tud r√°sz√°nni bar√°ti alapon,¬†de a f√©rfi nagyon ostromolta, s v√©g√ľl¬†a l√°nyt is kiv√°ncsiv√° tette. Joao napokig nem √≠rt, majd √ļjra √≠rt az utaz√°s napj√°n √©s √©rkez√©se ut√°n k√©rte a l√°nyt, hogy legal√°bb egy k√°v√©ra menjenek¬† el.

Azon a vas√°rnapon Joao is¬†megjelent a Couchsurfinges esem√©nyen Budapesten √©s le√ľlt a l√°ny mell√©. Kettej√ľk viselked√©se √©s besz√©lget√©se¬†azt az √©rz√©st keltett√©k a t√∂bbiekben, mintha m√°r r√©gebb ismern√©k egym√°st √©s haverok lenn√©nek, k√©sŇĎbb ezt maga a spanyol fi√ļ is elmondta.

Bella v√©g√ľl tal√°lkozott Joaoval h√©tfŇĎn este…

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Bella √©s l√°nya Lili kor√°bban t√°voztak a¬†vas√°rnapi¬†esem√©nyrŇĎl, mert m√°snap a gyermek suliba ment, elb√ļcs√ļzott az √ļjdons√ľlt emberk√©ktŇĎl √©s bar√°tnŇĎj√©tŇĎl R√©k√°t√≥l.

M√°snap R√©ka v√°rosn√©z√©sbe vitte Danielt √©s Rault, a r√≥luk k√∂z√∂sen k√©sz√ľlt fot√≥t √°tk√ľldte Bell√°nak, aki gyermek√©vel volt azon a napon, √≠gy nem tudott hozz√°juk csatlakozni.

Kedden Lili apj√°hoz ment, Daniel pedig jelentkezett, hogy akkor j√∂nne Bell√°hoz megsz√°llni, ha m√©g lehets√©ges. Bella aznap otthonr√≥l dolgozott, munk√°ja nem motiv√°lja el√©gg√©, de jelenleg ŇĎ sem tudja, hogy milyen √ļj √°ll√°st szeretne √©s hol, ez√©rt, hogy kikapcsol√≥djon egy kicsit, √ļgy d√∂nt√∂tt itthon fŇĎz eb√©det, s ha m√°r fŇĎz, akkor megh√≠vja a k√©t k√ľlf√∂ldit is egy magyar eb√©dre, gyors kital√°lta, hogy csirkep√∂rk√∂ltet k√©sz√≠t, majd r√°√≠rt a fi√ļkra, hogy 2 √≥rakor ha ven kedv√ľk √©s nincs m√°s dolguk, j√∂jjenek fel hozz√° eb√©dre, megadva a c√≠met. R√©ka dolgozik a¬†v√°ros m√°sik v√©g√©n.¬†Daniel azonnal reag√°lt, s jelezte, hogy hamarosan m√°r √ļton is lesz, Raul p√°r perccel ut√°nn¬†szint√©n jelezte, hogy nagyon sz√≠vesen j√∂nne ŇĎ is. Bella gyorsan kiugrott a piacra, megvett 1,5 kg csirkeh√ļst, tejf√∂lt, nokedlit (azt az√©rt m√©gsem akart otthonilag k√©sz√≠teni), hazarohant √©s feldobta az eb√©det.

A fi√ļk gyors meg√©rkeztek √©s egy finomat eb√©deltek k√∂z√∂sen. A l√°ny levette ŇĎket a l√°bukr√≥l a fŇĎz√©s√©vel.

Raul √©rkez√©sekor Daniel pont a f√ľrdŇĎben volt, hogy lezuhanyozzon, s megjegyezte Bell√°nak, kicsit meglepŇĎd√∂tten: Daniel, itt fog megsz√°llni? Bella¬†szint√©n meglepŇĎd√∂tt a f√©rfi reakci√≥j√°n, de nem adott neki jelentŇĎs√©get, azt vette √©szre, hogy sokkal kommunikat√≠vabb lett Raul √©s sokkal ink√°bb mag√°n√°l volt, bar√°ts√°gosabb √©s √©rdeklŇĎdŇĎ.

Egyébként Raul is házas és egy hónapos körutazáson van Európában.

Bella bar√°tnŇĎje R√©ka¬†furcs√°nak tal√°lta e f√©rfiak egyed√ľli utaz√°s√°t, de Bella √≠gy, hogy igaz√°b√≥l maga is elv√°lt, megtudta √©rteni azon emberek igy√©ny√©t,¬† akik egyed√ľl utaztak √©s tapasztaltak meg dolgokat, ez√©rt ennek nem tulajdon√≠tott nagy jelentŇĎs√©get.

Eb√©d ut√°n Raul nem sok√°ig tart√≥zkodott Bell√°n√°l, jelezte, hogy visszamegy a hostel√©be pihenni egyet. Ut√≥lag Bella azt gondolta, hogy lehet a f√©rfi azt gondolta Daniellel, kettej√ľk k√∂z√∂tt volt m√°r valami, pedig nem √©s Bell√°nak nem is volt sz√°nd√©k√°ban.

A kedd d√©lut√°nt v√©g√ľl a l√°ny zenekar√°val t√∂lt√∂tt√©k, ahol Daniel is nagyon j√≥l √©rezte mag√°t, a pr√≥ba v√©g√©n m√©g egy csoport fot√≥t is k√©rt tŇĎl√ľk, hogy megmaradjon eml√©knek ez az esem√©ny. Hazafele menet elvitte a l√°ny az egyik¬†neves¬†helyi romkocsm√°ba,¬†ahol egy t√∂r√∂k zenekar zen√©lt, majd az est√©j√ľk tov√°bbi r√©sz√©ben megismerkedtek egy t√∂r√∂k fi√ļval √©s l√°nnyal, akik √©p a sr√°c sz√ľlet√©snapj√°t √ľnnepelt√©k Budapesten √©s vel√ľk besz√©lgett√©k √°t az estet. Az est folyam√°n Daniel pr√≥b√°lt Bella fel√© k√∂zel√≠teni, de Bella h√°r√≠tott (ott lebegett a feles√©g √©s gyermek k√©pe elŇĎtte, mint kider√ľlt¬†besz√©lget√©seik¬†sor√°n a f√©rfi¬†nyitott kapcsolatban √©l). Bella n√©ha azt gondolta, hogy ez a t√ļl k√∂zel hajol√°s a kultur√°lis k√ľl√∂nbs√©gekbŇĎl j√∂vŇĎ k√ľl√∂nbs√©g, k√∂ztudott, hogy a d√©li emberek a kommunik√°ci√≥ alkalm√°val k√∂zelebb hajolnak az emberhez, √°m k√©sŇĎbb r√°j√∂tt enn√©l t√∂bbrŇĎl van sz√≥.¬† Hazafele is¬†a villamoson a fi√ļ pr√≥b√°lt k√∂zelebb ker√ľlni a l√°nyhoz. Amikor haza√©rkeztek, le√ľltek vacsor√°zni √©s a fi√ļ mindenk√©ppen testbesz√©d√©vel jelezte, hogy k√∂zel akar maradni Bell√°hoz, fel√ľlt a fotel sz√©l√©re, amire a l√°ny szurk√°l√≥dva reag√°lt a fi√ļnak, hogy √ľlj√∂n a fotelbe, nagyobb hely van benne √©s k√©nyelmesebb, mint a sz√©l√©n szorongani.¬† De Daniel feln√©zett r√°,¬†s elmondta, hogy a romkocsm√°ban a t√∂r√∂k fi√ļval Bell√°r√≥l besz√©lgettek. Bella tudta, hogy mit szeretne k√∂z√∂lni vele a fi√ļ, s tudta, hogy nem akar h√°zas f√©rfival lenni, de abban a pillanatban mag√°nya √©s gyeng√©ds√©g ir√°nti v√°gya¬†erŇĎsebb volt n√°la. Nem n√©zett a f√©rfira, az pedig hozz√°simult √©s sz√°jon cs√≥kolta. Gyeng√©d volt, figyelmes √©s¬†√©rz√©ki.

M√°snap Bella fŇĎb√©rlŇĎje kopogtatott, a konyh√°t j√∂ttek lecser√©lni, Daniel volt otthon, mert Bella fodr√°szhoz ment kor√°n reggel. A sr√°c jelezte Bell√°nak, hogy elkezdŇĎd√∂tt a konyhacsere √©s megk√©rdezte Bell√°t megh√≠vhatja-e eb√©dre. A l√°ny igent mondott. Az egyik a lak√°shoz k√∂zeli t√©ren tal√°lkoztak, tal√°lkoz√°sukkor a l√°ny az arc√°t ny√ļjtotta a fi√ļnak puszihoz, majd elmentek a l√°ny kedvenc brunchos k√°v√©z√≥j√°ba, ahol nem igaz√°n √©rtek egym√°shoz, m√©g az elŇĎzŇĎ este √©lm√©nyei benn√ľk volt. Bella nem tudott hogyan viszonyulni hozz√°, de hazafele j√∂vet a f√©rfi megfogta a kez√©t √©s¬†√ļjra megcs√≥kolta.

Aznap este buliba mentek és találkoztak mind a négyen. Bella, Réka, Raul és Daniel.

Raul megint √©szbont√≥an szexi volt, gy√∂ny√ľrŇĪ barna szemek, barna bŇĎr √©s izmos teste, de Bella letett r√≥la. Az este folyam√°n √©rdekes fordulatot vettek az esem√©nyek. Raul k√∂zel ker√ľlt R√©k√°hoz, Daniel pedig elh√≠vott egy szŇĎke l√°nyt a buliba akivel Bella elŇĎtt ismerkedett meg egy sz√≥rakoz√≥helyen p√°r nappal kor√°bban. Bella √©rkez√©sekor rengeteg ismerŇĎssel tal√°lkozott √∂ssze a sz√≥rakoz√≥helyen, Daniel nem gyŇĎzte a fej√©t kapkodni √©s bemutatkozni sorba az embereknek. A b√°rpultn√°l √°ltak az italaikat itt√°k amikor is Daniel bemutatta Zo√©t, a magyar l√°nyt, akivel p√°r napja ismerkedtek meg. Bell√°nak rosszul esett √©s nem is √©rtette, honnan j√∂n ez az ismeretts√©g. Zo√©n√°l azt √©rezte, a l√°nynak tetszik Daniel, pr√≥b√°lt vele p√°r sz√≥t v√°ltani, de¬†nem siker√ľlt felkeltenie az √©rdeklŇĎd√©s√©t √©s Bella k√ľl√∂nben is szeret t√°ncolni, √≠gy amikor csak tudott a t√°ncparketten tart√≥zkodott, m√°r r√©g t√°ncolt √©s hi√°nyzott neki. Daniel maradt az eg√©sz este folyam√°n Zo√©val, Bella elej√©ben s√©relmezte, bar√°tnŇĎi is Daniel ut√°n √©rdeklŇĎdtek, Zo√©ra √©s Danielre mutatva nem volt kedve sokat r√≥luk besz√©lni. K√∂zben Raul √©s R√©ka is megjelentek a t√°ncparketten cs√≥kol√≥dzva √©s ez volt az a pillanat, amikor szembes√ľlt mag√°val √©s √©rzelmeivel. V√©gig azt hitte ez a f√©rfi tabu, csal√≥dott volt. Arra gondolt,¬†hogy ha m√°r h√°zas emberrel volt, akkor legal√°bb lett volna azzal, aki t√©nyleg tetszett neki. Val√≥j√°ban Raul nagyon megfogta, de nem l√©pett fel√©je, mert bizonytalan volt a f√©rfival kapcsolatban. √Čles mellkasi f√°jdalmakat √©rzett amikor megl√°tta a f√©rfi a bar√°tnŇĎj√©t cs√≥kolja, akinek val√≥j√°ban a pasi nem is tetszett, de v√©g√ľl konstat√°lta,¬†R√©ka most¬†boldog volt √©s meg√©rdemelte azt a pasast. M√©gis ott motoszk√°lt az √∂rd√∂g benne, lehetett volna ŇĎ az, ha Daniellel nem j√∂n √∂ssze? Volt-e neki egy√°ltal√°n es√©lye Rauln√°l?

Abban a pillanatban egy világ omlott össze benne. Már megint elsiette a dolgokat. Vagy mégsem, lehet így kellett ennek lennie?

Megfogadta, hogy nem engedi meg mag√°nak az √∂nsajn√°latot √©s bement t√°ncolni. Odabent t√∂bben is akadtak, akikkel t√°ncolt, egy sr√°ccal meg is cs√≥kolt√°k egym√°st. Daniel nemsok√°ra megjelent Zo√©val a t√°ncparketten √©s igyekeztek Bella k√∂zel√©ben ker√ľlni, de Bella folyamatosan¬†otthagyta ŇĎket. F√∂l√∂slegesnek is √©rezte mag√°t √©s nem tudta elviselni Zo√© megvetŇĎ √©s figyelŇĎ tekinteteit, akkora v√°lt teljesen tiszt√°v√° sz√°m√°ra, hogy a l√°nynak Daniel tetszik, Bella nem akart az √ļtjukba √°llni, mert maga sem tudta, hogy mi ez az eg√©sz Daniellel.

Az egyik pillanatban Daniel odament Bell√°hoz, hogy haza akar menni, ezt olyan hat√°rozotts√°ggal k√∂z√∂lte, hogy Bella nem is k√©rdezett semmit √©s egy√©bk√©nt is m√°r k√©sŇĎre j√°rt az idŇĎ, j√≥maga is¬†elindult volna¬†m√°r m√©g kor√°bban, de nem tudott mit kezdeni Daniellel, ugyeb√°r n√°lla lakott.

Bella elb√ļcs√ļzott a kedves, t√°ncos talp√ļ¬†egyiptomi fi√ļt√≥l √©s az est√©t egy√ľtt t√∂lt√∂tt bar√°tait√≥l.

Daniel a kapuban várta, hogy menjenek haza. Zoé talán valamivel pár perccel korábban elment.

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Daniel a villamoson bocs√°nat√©rt esdekelt, √©szrevette mag√°t √©s viselked√©s√©t, de azzal magyar√°zta, hogy m√©ly besz√©lget√©sei voltak a l√°nnyal, belefeledkezett¬†√©s √©lvezte a t√°rsas√°g√°t, de¬†biztos√≠tani akarta a Bell√°t arr√≥l, hogy Zo√© is csak bar√°tk√©nt volt ott. H√°t…Bella nem √≠gy l√°tta, m√°sr√©szt nem √°llt jog√°ban b√°rmit is sz√≥lni, mert szerencs√©re nem a “partnere”, √©rdekes Daniel m√©gis valahol fontosnak tartotta ezt, hogy elmondja.

Bella tudta, hogy kettej√ľk k√∂z√∂tt Daniellel ez a dolog nem komoly, m√©gis megviselte, fŇĎleg azok ut√°n, hogy az este folyam√°n “egyed√ľl” maradt. Mag√°hoz h√≠ven feltal√°lta mag√°t, de rosszul esett neki, hogy v√©g√ľl ŇĎ kellett mag√°nak √ļj t√°rsas√°got keressen.

Abban a 2-3 napban m√≠g Daniel vele volt, j√≥ volt azt √©rezni, hogy valaki mellette volt, egy√ľtt kelni, egy√ľtt csin√°lni dolgokat. Hi√°nyzott ez neki, de tudta, hogy ez az eg√©sz ideiglenes √©s az eg√©sz f√ľstbe megy.

Miut√°n Daniel elutazott meg is k√∂nnyebb√ľlt,¬†mert tudta, hogy ez az¬†ember¬†nem neki val√≥,¬†m√©gis √ļjb√≥l j√∂tt az √ľress√©g, melyet oly sokszor √©rzett egy-egy ilyen kaland ut√°n. Vannak a sz√©p¬†pillanatok, de csak r√∂viden…√©s m√°r nem erre v√°gyott egy ideje.

√Ām Bella f√©l¬†att√≥l, ha egy ilyen kis kaland megviseli, akkor mi lenne, ha egy¬†√ļjabb kapcsolatban lenne √©s az szakadna meg? Ahol t√©nyleg ŇĎ az aki¬†√©rzelmileg nagyon beleadta mag√°t? Ezt a “kis” lelki leszakad√°sokat √©s¬†f√°jdamakat is alig tudja elviselni.

NŇĎbŇĎl volt, az √©rzelmeit nem tudta kikapcsolni soha sem. Ňź lenne ennyire √©rzelgŇĎs, csak? Vagy l√©tezik egy ilyen t√°rsa is valahol?

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Daniel tegnap elmondta, hogy Bellának mégis igaza volt, Zoé bevallotta chaten, hogy kiakart vele kezdeni azon az estén.

Bella nem akarta hallani a story tov√°bbi r√©szleteit, Daniel nem √©rtette mi√©rt…